September 25, 2015

"I'll give you a tip, alright: lay off the compassion." Please CAPTION Fox's Charlie Gasparino!!!!

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Charlie ("Do unto others before they can do anything to you&quot Gasparino is saying: "Not only was Jesus an unapologetic Capitalist, he was a hedge fund manager as well. . . . What do you think the story of the wine at the wedding was all about, . . . or the loaves and fishes. . . . Geez, didn't anyone read the Bible but me?"


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Above CAPTION based on the following Crooks & Liars story:

http://crooksandliars.com/2015/09/fox-yakker-jesus-was-capitalist

September 24, 2015

"Let's see your hands, Numbn*ts!" . . . . Please come CAPTION Sheriff Joe Arpaio!!

Joe ("America's favorite trilobite&quot Arpaio just finished saying: "I have the greatest respect for the Constitution and I know he's a judge. . . . But this is America and I have a gun."


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Above CAPTION based on the following DU story:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10141215498

September 24, 2015

Editor of The National Peewhew! . . . Please come CAPTION Fox's Rich Lowry

Rich ("I dunk my donuts in kerosene. . . . It keeps me regular&quot Lowry is saying: "Megan, objectively speaking I'd have to say that Carly Fiorina castrated Trump at the last debate and now he's singing several octaves higher and walks like chimp in diapers. . . . I hear he's joining Eunuchs Are Us and now sucks p*nis-shaped lollipops and wears frilly pink panties when he wears any at all. . . . But I'm just trying to be objective, Megyn."


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Above CAPTION based on the following Crook & Liars story with a healthy clip:

http://crooksandliars.com/2015/09/rich-lowry-tells-megan-kelly-carly-fiorina

September 23, 2015

"No lie too low, no mouth too slow!" . . . Please come CAPTION Rush Limbaugh!!!

Rush ("Anybody can tell the truth. . . . What's the fun in that?&quot Limbaugh is saying: "I'm the last one to speak ill of the pontiff, and Ladies and Gentlemen, listen closely, I'm certainly not saying that he is or ever was wrapped up in the pedophile scandals that plagued the Catholic Church over the last two decades, but, . . . well, . . . He's a radical Marxist, atheist, gay, tree-hugging hater of capitalism, and Satan's favorite advocate isn't he? . . . It kinda follows."

September 21, 2015

Dear Diary: An Oral Autobiography. . . . Please come CAPTION W.'s return visit!!!!

W. ("I still wonder what happened in My Pet Goat&quot is saying: "And Diary, why, oh why, does Karl keep treating me so mean?Today when I showed him the manuscript of my autobiography where I wondered how I squandered the political capital of 9/11 financing Cheney's wet dream, losing thousands of lives and trillions of dollars, and where I wondered what happened when the greatest economy the world has ever known was nearly bankrupt due to my administration's policies, and about Katrina, and . . .then I wonder what just my legacy might be, . . . and in the conclusion I told exactly how I felt about these things, and still feel. . . Well, Karl didn't have to slap me three times, call me a 'stupid twit,' and shred the manuscript in front of my face, while laughing and slamming back shooters, did he?"

September 19, 2015

"Each time I open my mouth, my mind disappears!" . . . Please come CAPTION Donald Trump!!!

Donald ("I'd carve my name into the culture's frontal lobe if I could!&quot Trump just finished saying: "Of course, sir, I'm not endorsing the fact you find Obama a Muslim who was born in another country. . . . Not by any means, . . . but the fact that you bring it up shows that many people aren't satisfied with the official version, and you know what they say: Where's there's smoke there's fire! . . . But that doesn't mean I support what you said, . . . at least not necessarily. . . . Next!"




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Above CAPTION based on the following from New York Magazine:

http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2015/09/man-calls-obama-a-muslim-trump-just-nods-along.html#

September 18, 2015

"My outrage has no limit!" . . . Please come CAPTION Fox's Andrea Tantaros!!!!

Andrea ("Eating poison keeps me mentally sharp&quot Tantaros is saying: "Why, I think it's an utter outrage that Obama, our so-called president, invited that middle school student, Ahmed Mohamed, to the White House just because he fooled everyone into thinking he had a bomb and got himself handcuffed and cuffed around a bit. . . . What Obama is doing will only encourage more kids to bring false bombs to school and keep kids and teachers from saying anything. . . . It's clear as mud in my eye, what happens next! . . . When another little Mohamed brings a real bomb disguised as a clock . . . Well, the blood will be on Obama's hands. . . . Not that he'll even care. . . . It's an outrage!"

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Above CAPTION based on the following Media Matters piece with a healthy clip:

http://mediamatters.org/video/2015/09/17/fox-host-attacks-obama-for-supporting-the-tx-te/205622

September 17, 2015

"Six-foot ten inches! And you?" . . . Please come CAPTION Jed Bush!!!!

Jeb ("Sneaky Snake&quot Bush is thinking: "Boy, what no body knows is that I'm on tiptoes. . . . In high school I figured out how that makes me look taller than everybody else in the picture. . . . It's real slick, and nobody seems to have figured it out. . . . Wow, people will think I' m six or almost seven feet tall! . . . Now they'll have to vote for me! . . . No sir, my daddy sure didn't raise any stupid sons!"


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Above CAPTION based on the following Daily Mail article:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3237930/Jeb-Bush-gets-head-Republican-candidates-manages-tower-Donald-Trump-stands-tiptoes-group-photo.html

September 17, 2015

"I don't know. How about you?" Please come CAPTION Donald Trump!!!

Donald ("After all, who really cares, anyway?&quot Trump is saying: "Jake, Jake, Jake, only one thing is both obvious and certain: the less you know the better! . . . Our foreign policy has been determined by a bunch professionals with graduate degrees, and you see where that's gotten us. . . . I say it's time we go back to ordinary people who don't pretend to know anything and won't "bother themselves and other people with lots theories and ideas with long words! . . . And boy, do I know a lot of people who fill that bill!


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Above CAPTION based on the following New York Magazine article:

http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2015/09/second-debate-republicans-out-crazy-trump.html

September 16, 2015

Watter's T*rd. . . . Please come CAPTION Fox's Jesse Watters!!!

Jesse ("I used to be the class clown . . . . Still am.&quot Watters is saying: "I don't understand, Senator Sanders, why you won't talk to us. . . . What have we ever done to you, your highness? . . . Geez, what a shithead! . . . I don't believe it!. . . . Talk to us, you miserable piece of fecal matter!!!!! . . . What have we ever done to you? . . . Why won't you talk to us?"


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Above CAPTION based on the following News Hounds story with an extensive clip of Watters denying once again sane, civilized conversation, as well as his share in the better possibilities of humanity:

http://www.newshounds.us/bill_o_reilly_tries_to_ambush_bernie_sanders_and_fails_091415