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jmowreader

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Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 41,755

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and a 50-pound sack of manure?

Three hundred pounds.

Must read: Matt Shea's "Biblical Basis for War"

Matt Shea is a GOP state legislator from Spokane Valley, WA. He's also a dangerous psychopath. He has published a "Biblical Basis for War" which explains what we're dealing with when we're talking about MAGAts.

https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/5026577-Biblical-Basis-for-War.html

I will wait to see the report before gnashing teeth

First: Mueller can’t indict Trump.

Second: it would be best for family indictments to come from the State of New York. Trump can’t pardon those crimes.

Third: I believe Barr will not edit the report. There is too big a chance Mueller could provide a copy from his printer to Congress.

Fourth: if Trump really is a crook, Barr won’t protect him.

I have a perfect new nickname for Donald Trump

Angstrom. After the thickness of his skin. An Angstrom is one ten-billionth of a meter.

Besides measuring the thickness of Donald Trump's hide, it is also used to measure the space between the atoms in whatever elastomer his backbone is made of.

I do believe Paul Manafort is in deep trouble

You know that second sentencing hearing he's going to face this week? Take a guess who the judge is.

https://www.cnbc.com/2019/03/08/paul-manafort-sentence-could-become-a-longer-one-for-trump-campaign-chief.html

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Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Amy Berman "Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes in this motherfucking administration!" Jackson is about to open some fuckin' windows on Ostrich Skin Boy over there.

I found a new gift for your favorite president

Since they don't have fast food where he's going, this book will come in handy:

Creative Snacks, Meals, Beverages and Desserts You Can Make Behind Bars:: A Cookbook for Inmates (and others on a tight budget) looking to put the fun back into food

https://www.amazon.com/Creative-Snacks-Beverages-Desserts-Behind/dp/1482322161/ref=sr_1_1?hvadid=198213108617&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=1016140&hvnetw=g&hvpos=1o1&hvqmt=b&hvrand=3277941510293772495&hvtargid=kwd-297967462245&keywords=food+for+inmates&qid=1552341385&s=gateway&sr=8-1&tag=googhydr-20

In today's episode of "Am I a Nazi?"...

I was driving to work this afternoon when I pulled up behind a full-size pickup at an intersection. It was your standard Idaho Full Size Pickup - gun rack, NRA window sticker, sticker saying how much he liked to hunt...you know, nothing too unusual for around here. The license plate, however, was interesting.

STORM 44

During World War II, the Germans developed a new weapon that was issued as the StG 44. The abbreviation breaks out to "sturmgewehr," which translates directly to "storm gun" and indirectly to "assault rifle."

So, my fine fellow liberals, progressives and leftists, if someone's driving around with the name of a Nazi rifle on his license plate, is he a Nazi?

They also need to do a security investigation on Jared

Kushner’s falsifying his SF 86 is bad. But going from needing to sell 666 Park Ave RIGHT NOW to having a billion-five to buy apartment complexes with screams “this man is selling classified information” to me.

If he is, this does two things.

First, it puts Kushner in the slammer for a very long time.

And second, it makes Trump part of the crime since he ordered the government to issue Kushner’s clearance.

Your favorite Ig Nobel recipient?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Ig_Nobel_Prize_winners

I'm going to vote for the 1994 Medicine Prize winners, of which there were two:

Patient X, who attempted to use electroshock therapy to treat a rattlesnake bite - he attached automotive spark plug wires to his lip and revved the car engine to 3000 rpm for five minutes.

and

Doctors Richard C. Dart of the Rocky Mountain Poison Center and Richard A Gustafson of the University of Arizona Health Sciences Center, who co-wrote the paper "Failure of Electric Shock Treatment for Rattlesnake Envenomation."

I just learned what Trump plans to do with himself after he leaves office

He's going to open a store that sells nothing but broken vacuum cleaners.

It'll be the first time in history he sold something that doesn't suck.
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