orleans
orleans's Journali'm so sorry you are going through this
imo there is nothing harder in the world
especially when it comes out of the blue, giving no one time to mentally prepare
you were together a long time but not long enough
we never have enough time with those we love
the constant reminders of a beloved's absence in our day-to-day can be overwhelmingly emotionally exhausting.
but how wonderful and fortunate you both were to have found each other in this lifetime and love each other.
i believe love is transcending and keeps us connected through these times of transition we go through/anguish through.
you said you "keep thanking Whoever May Be Listening" for your once-in-a-lifetime love. well, i think the man you love is still listening to you, still there with you, and will be helping and guiding you as much as he can. (while i'm not a religious person i am a big believer in the afterlife and the concept of soul mates, which by the very name implies a deeper and more permanent connection that what we have in this physical world)
your op is a beautiful tribute to him.
he was just as fortunate to have you in his life as you were to have him.
i wish you the strength and energy to take care of yourself and your large family.
i wish you well. very much so.
i'm so glad all is finally well.
my mom went through a major "bout" of paranoia and delusions (it was at least ten years ago) and i finally managed to get her to go into the psych ward for a couple of weeks. this amazing shrink put her on a wonder drug and my god! she was out in two weeks, and pretty much back to normal. it was so wonderful!
she was supposed to take this pill once or twice a day, and did for a number of months. since i always picked up the refills for her i asked her one day, "shouldn't i be picking up your pills pretty soon?" she said, "oh, i haven't taken that in a long time. i'm fine."
it had probably been at least two months before i realized i hadn't gotten them for her. we still went to visit with the shrink every few months for another year and he was a bit worried that she had suddenly just stopped taking the med. but everything really was fine.
in my opinion it was a miracle drug. too bad i wasn't smart enough to pay better attention to the name of it. and then remember it for future reference.
anyway, glad to hear the good news about your mom.
for years people have told my daughter she looks like anne hathaway
(i'm not the only one who thinks my kid is beautiful)
wow--
sounds like you throw accusations at others, calling them charlatans for *your* cause
do you accuse someone of being a liar if they say they had any type of nde or paranormal experience? or are they just crazy in your opinion?
always remember--just because something never happened to you doesn't mean it can't happen - it just hasn't happened to you.
who said anything about heaven? i certainly did not.
i wasn't talking about heaven--made no mention of it, no reference to it. why are you bringing heaven into this?
oh, that's right. it's in your op. heaven & hell.
well, i wasn't referring to heaven.
(i don't actually believe in heaven and certainly not hell)
i was talking about an afterlife
about life after life
and since *i* saw proof it i tend to believe it exists
so i'll turn your argument around on you
your idea that our energy dies when our body does
"is far from reasonable
if you can't prove it..."
don't be a jerk by implying i don't know what hallucinations are. open your mind (it'll do you good)
although i admit i also tend to be of the "if i can't see it then it doesn't exist" school of thought
meaning that if it hadn't happened to me i'd find it very hard to believe as well.
and in spite of what i was fortunate enough to see i still had the attitude of "when you're dead, you're dead" for years even though i had this incredible experience.
and as you suggest, i did see someone about it. i ran upstairs to my mom and grandmother, hysterical, and told them what had happened. and by doing that my aunt accomplished what she intended--letting them know we don't die.
i believe this is what is referred to as a visitation and most people, while open to this experience as children, tend to outgrow it by the time they are around nine or ten. i was about six years old.
maybe if you did a little reading on the subject you'd understand it a little more. just because you've never come across something in your own life doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
"*They* do not" is your opinion based on your assumptions & what you've been told
because it wasn't my aunt's "memory" or "legacy" that showed up a year after she passed, looking as solid and as normal as she had before, talking to me and giving me quite a scare one afternoon.
but i do agree that "their memory exists" because she knew who i was and called me by my name. so she definitely remembered me.
i absolutely get what you're saying
and i feel the same way
(see my post #39)
example
it may be a "corpse" to some people
but to me that was my mother
those were the arms that held me and comforted me
those were the lips that smiled every day
those were the hands that pushed back my hair or opened a door for me
all a part of what made her her
all a part of how i had come to know her, see her,
and everything about her is precious to me
from her outwardly appearance
to her sharp mind
to her quick wit
to the bobby pins on her dresser
but that's not accurate either
the person most certainly does still exist
in the hearts and minds of those who loved them or cared about them
and their body was part of who they are
i think stating "a corpse was found" is an extremely cold way to phrase it
clinical
lacking warmth or compassion
harsh
unsympathetic to the bereaved
you wouldn't say to a grieving parent "where did the police find your son's corpse?"
how horribly sad
both situations
with your mom and your cat
i expect you're doing all you can under the circumstances
is it even safe for your mom to be living by herself at this point? what if you have a talk with her doctor, tell the doc you realize you aren't privy to her records, but explain how paranoid she is, what she told you about not being safe while you slept there, and that you simply need some help or suggestions from the doctor as to what you could or should do because you are extremely concerned.
that might be a start.
i think it's tragic how so many of us go through our last days or years (both mentally and physically) and while we go through it, where did the real us go?
i'd say help as much as you can and as much as you feel comfortable doing.
give yourself plenty of time to grieve over your cat. a loss like that is hard-hitting.
and just know, even though it may not feel like it, everything will eventually be okay. (at least that's what i keep telling myself)
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Gender: FemaleMember since: Fri Nov 26, 2004, 05:56 AM
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