A Simple Solution to the North Carolina Problem

After passing the widely vilified HB2 "Bathroom Control Act", the poor state of North Carolina is reeling. Companies are taking jobs out of the state which will have a serious financial impact. So, we have a simple solution, a win-win for the Tar Heel state. Since Job Creation is such a large priority for Republican lawmakers, how about creating a whole new department?

Let's call them Gender Verification Specialists. North Carolina can hire many thousands of those people who won't be getting jobs from Pay Pal or Deutsch Bank and station them outside of every bathroom and locker room in the entire state. In order to ensure that those pesky transgender folks don't go into the wrong bathrooms, these GV Specialists will do a quick "wiener" check of every person wanting to enter. We don't want "men" in the ladies' room and no "women" anywhere near those urinals. This will prevent any perverts from being in the wrong place at the wrong time, know what I mean? Governor McCrory and the NC legislature never intended for this law to be personally intrusive! Absolutely not! So these Gender Verification Specialists won't linger any longer "below the belt" than is absolutely necessary.

And anyone who objects to this simple crotch check, or if the "man" in question has less than admirable (or feel-able) "equipment", then "he" can take his "business" elsewhere.

Problem solved!