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Member since: Tue Nov 6, 2012, 10:29 AM
Number of posts: 9,685

Journal Archives

To teenage son: "That's enough, go to your room."

Son: Jim Morrison is overrated
Dad: I told you to quit slamming the Doors?

I've started Crossfit

I cross my fingers and hope my pants fit!

At the recent convention of Reich Wingers called CPAC it was noted

many rethugs had the letters TGIF written on their shoes.

Toes Go In First

I read that ABBA and Elvis Costello had decided on doing

a tour together. Trouble started when the couldn't decide who would get top billing. So stay tuned and watch ABBA and Costello to see who's on first.

Wizard of OZ humor

Dorothy: I miss Kansas.

Toto: I miss the rains down in Africa.

Phrases you don't want to hear:

There's a problem with your transmission

We only have middle seats left.

We don't make that model anymore.

He's up and tweeting.

Indecisive people are always

under the whether!

I was going to tell you a time traveling joke

but you didn't like it.

Morning Humor

A guy goes into a bar and immediately notices 3 hunks of beef hanging from the ceiling. The patron asks the barkeep what's that all about? The barkeep says if you can jump up and slap the beef you get free drinks for an hour. If you miss, you buy drinks for everyone in the bar. The patron thinks about and says, no I'll pass, the steaks are too high.

If Drumpt is finally tossed from office his new Teevee show will be:

Dancing with the Czars.
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