gwheezie
gwheezie's JournalMy comment on Ferguson
Lovely dance for marriage equality on episode 4 of sytycd
#t=16it speaks for itself
Tom's belief in god and science
It's funny. We would have long discussions about his strong belief in god and my atheism. We always wound up closer than we started.
I believe we have no way of understanding what happens after we die but I firmly don't believe on god or Jesus etc or other prophets. Tom believed 2 things at once. He was a catholic and figured it was as good as any way to feel connected to the bigger thing. He believed that heaven happens to people when their energy joined the energy that powers the universe. He called that god. He believed in prophets and enlightened people who tried to present the idea we are here forever. He believed that as it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end is a scientific theory about energy and fits perfectly with our limited knowledge of the physical world.
So when he was dying I knew things you know about people you loved for 35 years and I told him he was forgiven he kept saying he was sorry. I don't know why he was sorry about being Human but he was forgiven. I told him when he let go of his energy it would shoot out of him into the universe. I told him yes it would be spectacular.
My husband died last night.
His name was Tom. He loved me and animals. He led an interesting life. He was funny and handsome. What initially attracted me to him was he loved women. Not in a romantic way but preferred hanging out with female friends. He was a flaming liberal and a devout catholic In the old school do good works way.
He hadn't felt well for months and went to several doctors all told him he just had acid reflux. He told me he was dying. We went to the er twice and he was sent home. 3 weeks ago he was finally admitted for a work up and he was diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer. He never made it home. He died listening to Oscar Peterson and Joe Pass and I was holding him. He got to see his daughter when he was still lucid enough to say what he had to.
He made all the decisions about the end of his life and refused chemo and made himself a dnr. We spent the last 2 weeks talking about stuff. He prayed for his death and thankfully he died without a prolonged process.
Some of the things he said before he died:
I look forward to dying it's going to be spectacular
Tell my girlfriend bookie and drug dealer I can't pay up
I realize I've already done the last things I want to do but didn't know it at the time
Why was I worried about that shit
I'm not afraid
I don't know why we think we're going to live longer.
Please don't let my dick hangout if I can't cover myself up
Get me some pad Thai and throw that crap in the garbage. If I'm going to throw up itight as well taste better going down
There's weed on the shelf on the bookcase. Make me some edibles
Don't worry about me. I am done and it's ok.
I can't wait to die. If people insist on praying tell them to pray I die and get on with it
I hope that cat over there is coming with me(this was a hour before he died there was no cat that I saw)
Anyone following Antonio French tweets from Ferguson Mo
He's the alderman that Chris Hayes had on his show tonight. I've been reading his tweets about the reaction to Michael Browns murder.
I would bet that the hospitals involved are not requiring people to work with these patients
I remember the 1st aids patient I had in 1987, they asked for volunteers. I won't forget him, he was a man in his 60's, no hx of a blood transfusion and married to a female. At the time it was the gay disease so it took some time before he was accurately diagnosed but I remember the hospital giving staff the option of not caring for him and asked for volunteers. I had no issue working with him, I had many gay friends who I ate with, shared bathrooms with, shared beds with, shared utensils with, {I never share toothbrushes but that goes without saying for anyone, even my husband, I'd rather use my dogs toothbrush and he licks his own ass}. Some of them had aids at this point.
I also remember applying for a job at a long term care facility that was going to open one of the 1st units for aids patients in the state, there was so much controversy the unit was never opened and I thought I had by that time taken care of several aids patients who were so sick and homeless because it was still the gay disease and some were estranged from their families or hadn't come out and were so worried about people finding out they were gay they wouldn't ask for help. I thought,my god don't the powers that be that are stopping this unit from opening understand there are people with aids on buses and on the street and not getting any care and they're afraid of a long term care unit opening?
I am not equating ebola with aids, because of raygun we knew little about aids and how it was transmitted. We know about ebola and frankly it does scare the hell out of me. I've been a nurse a long time,I've seen mistakes made. But, I do think we need to bring these folks home because they are americans, they are sick, they need to be cared for.
The tragedy of states who will not expand medicaid
I work in Virginia and the dopey rat bastid crook previous governor spongebob vaginaprobe and his band of demented rightwing loons in the legislature refused the mcaid expansion. So I don't want to go into too much detail about the patient transferred to me last night but needless to say he has a serious chronic illness, not much formal education, has a low wage part time job with no insurance and falls through the cracks since he does not meet the subsidy for obamacare but makes too much to get on mcaid as it exists now. This guy is trying very hard but here he is getting admitted for an entirely preventable issue if he could qualify for mcaid and get treatment and meds. So rather than a less costly alternative to inpatient care, here he is. So far he has spent a few days in icu before transfer to where I work. All preventable and this guy is so knowledgeable about his illness he could very easily manage it. When he was a minor and covered under mcaid he had the treatment he needed, he was so smart about his illness even the doctor was impressed and said you tell me what orders I need to write to get you back on track. This guy could teach a class. He is under 26 and could stay on his mom's insurance but she is on mcaid herself for disability, so he can't go on her insurance. He could qualify for disability but he wants to work, he told me he is capable of working and watching his mom life on disability convinced him he can only get ahead in life if he works, he doesn't want to be poor, he wants to work, he wants to be a tax payer, he wants to pay his way but his meds are very expensive and the more times he gets sick, the more likely he will not be able to work. totally preventable. not to mention this will shorten his life and he will spend his life much sicker than he should be.
Happy Birthday to Maggie Walker
http://www.encyclopediavirginia.org/Maggie_Lena_Walker_1864-1934#start_entryActivist for women and african americans. Richmond had a celebration of her birthday this past weekend.
I remember when bc was illegal
I was about 12 or 13 years old and had an extraordinary discussion with my extraordinary grandmother. She was the one you could call and say "I'm really in trouble". So we were talking about sex and babies and wound up talking about an abortion she had. It was during the depression and it was illegal. And we talked about preventing pregnancy. All the old methods some effective some myths some dangerous. I was appalled and started reading more about why girls had to risk pregnancy when they had sex and it radicalized me.
So at age 13 in 1962 I stood in front of my 9th grade class and presented an oral book report on Margaret Sanger. It would be an understatement to say it created a shit storm and of course my parents had a difficult time explaining my behavior. They were informed I and they could get in lots of trouble talking about birth control. I did not make any more speeches in school about birth control.
I wound up going to planned parenthood when I became sexually active, thanks to Sanger but did wind up getting pregnant the pill and iud we're not available. I had a baby way too young but not sorry for having her. I still could not get bc pills because even though it was post Griswald it was 1969 prior to Baird and every doctor asked for my husbands permission. I didn't have a husband. By this time I belonged to a women's rights group so luckily when I got pregnant again I was able to find a good abortion doctor and didn't wind up dying over having sex. My women's group was very active in a variety of areas. We ran a free child are co op in a room we took over at the university. We ran a drop in center. A group of us rented a large house and lived there. When we found there were no detox beds for females we took them home and detoxes them. We watched their kids. And we taught each other how to do menstrual extractions. In that decade I was turned down for jobs and paid less because I might have a baby someday. The greatest and most life changing event of my life was the day I got birth control pills for free at planned parenthood. Legal birth control changed everything for women. I could have sex without it limiting my potential by forcing me to have an unwanted pregnancy.
So I am telling this story of my life to preface my opinion of the hobby lobby decision. I take it personally. It is a decision made to control women. I believe there are people that hate the legal protections we fought so hard for. They don't want us to have jobs or go to school or have sex unless a man approves. This is personal. I have been slowly seething over the years but I feel it welling up. Between this ruling and the one forcing women to face a gauntlet of deranged dangerous loons in order to exert her right to control her body, I feel more angry than I have since I was a young girl.
Mr president do not send in the green berets
Msnbc is reporting Obama is sending in green berets. I like Obama support him and defend him but I will be in DC protesting if any military for any reason other than protecting the embassy.
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