cyclonefence
cyclonefence's JournalA man sitting in a big-deal French restaurant
called out "Gendarme! Gendarme!"
The snooty waiter glided over and said "Pardonnez-moi, monsieur. I think you mean Garcon! Garcon! That is French for waiter. Gendarme means policeman."
"Precisely the man I need--there seems to be a holdup in the kitchen."
Why were Mr. and Mrs. Sweet Potato
upset when their daughter became engaged to Ari Melber?
Because Ari Melber is only a commentator.
I think I invented a phrase
"dick-drive" for when men let their interest in sex direct their words or actions, or when the only reason a man would make such a stupid decision is that he's operating on dick-drive.
I can't find a reference on Google. Has anyone heard this phrase before? If not, I'm very proud of myself.
A post bewailing self checkouts at the grocery store
made me smile. Yes, I hate them too.
But I also hated the scanners at the regular checkout counters. Does anybody else remember when every item in the store was marked with a price label? You could actually compare prices without squatting down to figure out price per ounce, and you could know when prices changed because when you bought a new jar of pickles you could compare the price sticker with that on the old jar.
Many jobs were lost when scanners came in. Checking out was slower, sure, because the clerk had to punch in the price of every item, but it sure was nice to have the price of each item clearly labeled when you got your groceries home.
Wish? Did somebody say wish?
Rita the Mail Lady (Epatha Merkerson) "fan mail from some flounder?", Cowboy Curtis
(Laurence Fishburne) "you know what big boots mean, Pee Wee--big feet!", Captain Carl (of course) "A sailor sails on many many seas, anywhere he pleases; and he always remembers to wash his hands, so's he don't get no diseases", Magic Screen and his cousin, Magic Johnson; Miss Yvonne the most beautiful woman in Puppetland, Chairy and Floory and Clocky, and the Cowntess and Randy the Bad Boy--all the way back to the Groundlings and Pee Wee's friend Hammy and the shoe mirrors so he and Pee Wee could look up girls' dresses--down to the vigilante crime fighter/criminal with a cape on Reno 911,
You bet I have a wish, Jamby. I wish Paul Reubens were alive and healthy, and I could give him a hug and a kiss and tell him how much I love him and will miss him for the rest of my life.
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