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kozar

Profile Information

Name: Doug
Gender: Do not display
Hometown: Tn
Home country: USA
Current location: Tn
Member since: Fri May 18, 2018, 04:38 PM
Number of posts: 811

Journal Archives

I sit back and quietly watch,,

About what is going here, and how sometimes, we tend to argue among ourselves. Please let me explain why I think all sides are jumping the gun a bit. Yes, Bernie rocking it right now, and yes you see Joe B on my sig. But here is what I see as reality. caucuses vs primaries. Iowa,Nevada are caucuses. Let's all breathe and accept that a caucus works in stages, it is about who wins what stage and then the next stage comes and any certain candidate can lobby others, who lost the prior stage of caucus, to come to their side until, there is a winner.
Unfortunately for caucus believers, general elections and primaries do not work this way. Then, people vote, votes are counted and what is done is done. If Bernie wins,,I will support him 100%,, but half of what has happened has been caucuses. And the results of those, includes the delegates who were allowed by rule, to change there vote after 1st,2nd or whatever stage. That is how I understand it works. And I am really impressed at how these results are coming forth.
But I also know, there are not many caucuses left, and eventually the general election will come with whoever "our candidate" is against the one who I will never type his name. And then,, there are no "stages" there are no "lobbying for delegates". There will be what is supposed to a be a simple, 1 vote for 1 person election, no look back's no changes.( unless Russia). Bernie doing well right now, better than I thought he would.
Reality is, we are not even to playoffs yet, much less the Super Bowl, for a sports analogy. When it comes down to Super Bowl, we all need to understand the rules, tiebreakers if you will, in football analogy, that brings certain teams into playoffs.
But when it comes down to the Super Bowl, you can either Love the team that beat you in playoffs and root for them, or,, you can hate the team that beat you in playoffs, and hope they lose.
Shortly,,caucuses are different than primaries or general elections. Sports analogy wise, I know who won last Super Bowl, I didn't like that team then,, and will support any team that kicks my team out of playoffs before this next Super Bowl.

Koz

Today is a day I thought I would never feel,

A day worse than 9/11, I never thought I could could feel worse for our country as that day. And yet I do, and I can only surmise that there is no shock, suddenness, or how an event just happened out of the blue to numb you in a way. I just realized we have been watching this attack for months, in slow motion, with no way to stop the damage. Many more people could die from today ( and may have already) than 9/11. I just told Mrs K..we are 60 years old and for the first time in my life, I'm not sure we are number 1 anymore.

Hopefully we can rebuild something meaningful to bring memory to this day in history.

We will fight,we will rebuild, I just hope it is not too late.

Koz


Edited for horrific grammatical errors, guess I am a bit upset

I made a mistake,,

First off,, My Seahawks lost and Im still kinda in mourning mode.lol. But back on topic,, I made the mistake,, I was seeing psyche, as we know, and Mrs K whole family( literally) died withing 18 months and Mrs K went into depression.. My psyche set up to bring Mrs K in to the same group to help. It was separate at first,,then I get the question from my psyche," can we share info?" I talked Mrs,,she agreed and we went on. Next step,, we are both asked,,can we do couples therapy? Mrs and I talk and say why not? So we did. So we go from week to week,1 week solo,2nd week couples. And Mrs therapist keep bringing up how Mrs K and I need respite from our Tess(hcp daughter) We said and explained over and over that we can only do that when support supplied by state is fully trained on Tess, and the turnover is putting Mrs K and I in full time training mode.
,,long story short,, things got worse, Mrs K and I arguing,,, until,,,, i finally heard what her psyche said in couples, we need respite. I agree and told Mrs,,she is right, and this also includes psyche help, we are too close in this area. So I dropped out from my Psyche, to give us the respite that we could control. Things since then 2 weeks ago, have been great. I made the mistake of getting Mrs K depression handled same place as mine.

Im still taking my meds, new Psyche was easy to find. we are so much better. I did have some drinks during this event. But I finally saw what was hurting Mrs and I . My mistake was bringing her psyche help to same pace as mine.

This Groups Victory is ,, I understood it,,and fixed it,,, because I was clear headed enough with your support. Yep,, I had drinks,,fell off the wagon. but I was sober long enough that my mind was clear enough to see reality.

I humbly Thank you all


Koz

hmmmm

I am trying so hard. Wifey has spent 2 weeks dogging me,
Tonight it blew up,,she is under psyche care like I am ,, I had few drinks today,,and was instantly hit in this house,,
"you drink" I spent my day fixing finances ( 30 mins) and the listening to her about care daughter gets from state.Hopefully,, you all know me,and I worked for 9 ears with intellectually challenged people.. but when I called state,Wifey said I was wrong. Because I saw 2 things the state workers were not doing right.

In 3 weeks,,I have,,fixed the household finances, put my foot down on dogs and cats we have, and what she spent on training the 3 dogs,which she still does not know the commands. Cost,,,3 thousand.

That was 6 months ago, I feed pups everyday( I truly love then) 2 cats,,ive learned how to scrape lid off their food, or, if I see them drinking out of toilet,, my denture cup.. I know they have no water. I do this daily.


and Mrs today,, when I did my normal morning routine.. the I had to call Siriusxm about a false charge*(refunded) fixed,,

our internet bill,, ( once again fixed)

and talk to my family that she felt good saying I had a couple drinks today

What I know at end of today,, I had a couple drinks,,,all bills are paid. I haven't lied.
But when I talked to her,, Im a bastard..
all I know,,,,,,Ill sleep good tonight, my bank account will show,,what I gave to her.
Im dealing with a woman who wants me gone,,,there is a lil girl in middle, why it isn't happening

I am fucking back! delete me if you want.

I guess I made some way to honest posts a while back,,not in this group but in breaking new,,and I was told I had no trusted source,and my post was locked and so on and so on,as I received pvt msgs that I belong to the recovering group and I must be high for posting this. So I just decided at that point ,, I quit DU.. just popped in because it is Christ's b-day,,no offense,, hmm a bunch of replies from a post I made in Aug,,about farmers against Trump.. Hmmm Koz,,, maybe you can be right on Du stating your beliefs and listen to your psyche when she says,,this is internet,, believe in YOU! tto iris,and all who sent mssgs,,TY ,, I do Wish you all best for you and your family on the holy day,, and will end by saying,, IM fucking back!,,,ty all for strength



Koz

Trump threatens to not sign bill to keep Govt open

Source: Goggle Chrome webpage breaking news banner

until Impeachment articles are forwarded.. Just came across Mrs K computer,,I do not have link yet


I did some research,,her breaking news banner originates from msn.com


Koz

Read more: Link to source

BIG,FRICKING HUGE HURDLE

hit me this morning,, my niece texted me and let me know that they were holding a bday party for my brother on Jan 4 because he will be 60yo. She implied how our parents need to see the 3 sons all together because they are old. I talked to Mrs K, said Im too new into not drinking to be in that position. So this went down, years ago I would have went and done it..hands down. Today I emailed my Mother,because when I called her ,she was out shopping. And I said " I can't ,too many traps" she emailed and pushed about the 3 of us and our families all being together again. I just said " I cant" Then a light went in my head,,and I called both my brothers,and niece and said " I cant,this is why" and then I told both my brothers about Mom's concerns and said " I agree with her,,we need to do this,,but in a more controlled situation" Miracles of miracles! they both agreed! and we will start working on that after the new year for Mom. I stood up today,,where I wouldn't have before. I called,,not texted, and explained. Even Mom tonight when I finally got her on phone agrees. I think my psyche will be proud when I see her Friday,, I know Mrs K is right now! Whether you all know it or not, you all are part of my support group too, simply because I can type these thoughts out.
thanks for listening.
Koz

I hate to feel like I am flooding this group,

but I feel I should update. did my Christmas Cantatas yesterday, 3 times in 3 different churches. Mrs K, lil bit and I left house at 8am yesterday, returned home at about 730 last night. The music humbled me. we hit all 3 singings. What surprises me is how absolutely totally exhausted I still am. I was one of those "jocks" all my life, 59 years old,still weigh 215 so I am active. I cannot not remember EVER being this tired and worn out. My music has always been just doodling here with Tess, some Karaoke, and some live sets with a couple bands I know. The amount of effort it takes a singer in choir to sing 9 songs in a row, 3 times in one day, floored me and I have so much respect for professionals now. Tess went through the whole day with me as Mrs K did and slept for 20,Yes, twenty hours straight. All went great,I love this new music diversion that has kept me sober so far. Then choir director told me as I left last night,,take 2 weeks off and rest, your solo song we will start working on in January. I feel like I should go into training!! Yesterday was a great experience with a group of great singers, and my family was there all day. A great day for us, and I had the DU support behind me too!!!
Thank you

Doug/Koz

may be a double post,, more updates since meltdown


Incredibly hard week, that ended so well. We had to sue a person in court who was paid by state to take care of my Tess, while Mrs K and I could go out. Won that court case on Monday, but our lawyer said we would have to go through garnishment to get our money. Lo and Behold, her lawyer called our lawyer yesterday and offered a payment plan,, which is EXACTLY same plan we offered before court. SO we took it,,Tess will get her money.
Music wise, I learned a 76 page Cantata for Sunday in 8 days to sing with a choir. It was the trade for the choir to sing a song with me as lead, that is on my bucket list. Great group of people, I am having a ball! I do need to sing bass in choir, which is at absolute bottom of my range, and after 4, 2 hr practice s this week, my throat hurts, my stomach hurts(diaphragm). but at least the actual Cantata is only 50 mins long. It has been a great week. no meltdowns,no drinking. A great positive week, once again, I thank you guys too. You are a big part of my successes along this road.

Koz
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