Wages to be recalculated based on how useful you will be after the apocalypse [View all]

[Soph0571]

Your value to the post-apocalyptic world will determine your wages from now on, according to reports this afternoon.

After finally realising that some people get paid millions of pounds for what can best be summed up as “dicking about”, the government will issue a new set of laws demanding that only those truly essential to human survival in a world of nuclear storms and desert sands will earn the big money.
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“Top-level CEOs can fuck off as well. Nobody is going to give a shit about Amazon when they’re trying their best to hit rats with a slingshot for food.”

While the upper echelons of sport, business and politics all reacted to the news negatively, there was celebration among the one or two people who still know how to do actual things.

“My new wage is 9 million a year,” beamed carpenter, Jay Cooper.

[link:https://newsthump.com/2019/01/31/wages-to-be-recalculated-based-on-how-useful-you-will-be-after-the-apocalypse/|

If Trump and hard right Brexit get their way - this may no longer be satire...