Nurse Carefully Weighs Whether She Better Off Getting Vaccine Or Losing Job And Dying [View all]

[Zorro]

UTICA, NY—Blasting state officials for putting her into such an “impossible position,” local nurse Sophia Wood confirmed Wednesday that she was carefully weighing whether she was better off getting the vaccine or losing her job and dying.

“On the plus side, if get vaccinated, I could get to continue to live my life healthy and happy with no drawbacks, but is that really worth giving up the right to die while out of work?” said the healthcare worker, who had spent the past weeks agonizing over a long list of pros and cons of getting vaccinated that she had written up for each side of the issue.

“On one hand, I have way more items listed under the pros column, like ‘keep job,’ ‘protect others,’ and ‘protect myself,’ but on the other, I have ‘freedom’ written in big red letters, circled, and underlined multiple times. I’m pretty torn between the two. Who would issue such a cruel ultimatum?”

At press time, Wood assured herself that regardless of the choice she ultimately made, she would wind up back in the hospital.

https://www.theonion.com/nurse-carefully-weighs-whether-she-better-off-getting-v-1847768107