Moving in to independent or assisted living. [View all]

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

Last year in November, and this year in August, my sister and I made trips to the DC area to help our brother and his wife, both 79 years old, transition to assisted living. He's legally blind. She can see just fine, but has serious mobility issues, and I am convinced she's at the beginning stages of dementia. We've helped clearing out some of the stuff from the home they've lived in for over 40 years. We found an assisted living place that is wonderful, perfect for them. But they need to clear out at least 80%, perhaps more like 90% of what's still left to be able to move into a 2 bedroom place from a two-story plus basement home that they've hoarded for decades. There is still a lot to be done.

My advice to everyone: Do NOT delay moving into Independent or Assisted living until it becomes a crisis. Plan ahead. Brother and wife are truly in a crisis situation, and it's frustrating and unnecessary. Pay attention as your ability to live on your own begins to fade, or as mobility issues happen, or as vision fades. Don't expect to stay home. Don't. Especially if you have the financial resources to live elsewhere, which they do.

I do realize that some of you reading this will simply not have the money for such a thing, and I can only offer you compassion, and the hope that you can figure something out. But others can do independent/assisted living. I think about this a lot for myself. I'm currently 74 years old, in excellent health. I live alone, which is just fine, but I'm very aware that I don't want to be in this small home when I'm in my 80s. Even now I'm not crazy about the maintenance I need to do. I have a son who lives near DC, getting a PhD in astronomy at George Mason University. When he finishes the degree, and hopefully gets a permanent job, I hope to relocate to be much nearer to him, wherever that might be. I sincerely hope he comes out to this part of the country, but that probably won't happen, alas. But I don't want to be so far away from my only child. When I do relocate to be closer to him, I may well move into independent/assisted living. He's a wonderful son, but I'm not about to expect him to care for me in my old age.

End of rant.