BREAKING: Classified documents discovered at my house [View all]

[Pinback]

ATLANTA, Jan. 24 - At a 1:00 p.m. ET news conference tomorrow, longtime DUer Pinback is expected to reveal the discovery of several classified documents at his Atlanta-area residence. The documents are believed to be printouts of emails from his time as a contractor at {REDACTED}, Inc.

"I had no idea I had anything like that," Pinback reportedly told a confidant, saying he found them in an old manila folder in the bottom drawer of his filing cabinet. "To tell you the truth," he allegedly told the source, "I hardly ever look in there. It's pretty disorganized, and kind of scary, really."

The long-forgotten emails are believed to contain "parodies of corporate announcements written with co-workers and several draft resignation letters."