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In reply to the discussion: Patton Oswalt: What gun owners think they look like... [View all]Victor_c3
(3,557 posts)At least for me, I know that writing about my experiences and attempting to analyze what they are all about is a huge emotional drain on me and I really appreciate the time and attention that it must have taken you.
I'm still working on trying to talk about my own war experiences and a forum like this really does help a lot. I can remain semi-anonymous and throw a lot of the stuff that I'm scared of telling my family out there. The worst thing I think I can do is remain silent and let the pain and struggles I continue to feel go unmentioned. I think it is very valuable for people who have been fortunate enough to never have experienced war to see how much it continues to bother some of us for the rest of our lives.
My grandfather was a WWII Infantryman and I think, had he been frank about his war experiences, I probably would have never desired to have my own.
Your closing thoughts really hit me kind of hard, but talking to guys like you who have made it lot longer than I have give me hope that I can stick with it.
I know I mentioned Kurt Vonnegut and Slaughterhouse Five a couple of post ago already, but much like the main character Billy Pilgrim, I feel like I just bumble around between one major life event and another. In the book, Billy Pilgrim was just a scared bumbling boy in WWII. That is exactly how I see myself when I look back at myself in Iraq. I had no clue what I was doing. And, like how the rest of his life is depicted, I feel detached and like I'm bumbling through the rest of everything else too.
Actually, my wife and I got into a huge fight last night. She says that I don't care about anyone and I can't communicate. I go through the motions in life, but that is about it. Sadly, I think she is right.
Again, thank you for your time and your thoughts. You are one of the guys on this forum that I really look up to and respect.