General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: Just ripped a co-worker. Now I feel terrible. [View all]patrice
(47,992 posts)strongly as you do if they think you are missing their own, legitimate to them, point. If it's valuable to you to not be mis-understood, then it's okay for other people to share that same value, to not be misunderstood, whether you agree with them or not. Everyone wants to know that when a negative goes against them, that negative should be based on what they are actually trying to represent, not some misconception about that.
When this happens to me, I think I have to demonstrate that I do in fact, completely, and accurately understand as precisely as possible what they are thinking, because it is that precise understanding that legitamizes my critique of their position. There is no legitimacy in a critique without that. I cannot authentically criticize that which I don't understand, so if it is perceived that I do not in fact know why, how, and to what extent another person thinks they are right and actually validate whatever degree of validity they do actually have, they are correct in claiming that I don't have an authentic criticism of their position.
I know your personal experience is truly a valid central understanding of the issue, but why do you think that your friend thinks that she is right too?