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(410 posts)
Sat Mar 22, 2014, 01:51 PM Mar 2014

Putin Calls US Threat to Block Porn Sites "Act of War" [View all]

Kiev, Ukraine (CNN) – U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry announced the toughest measures to date against Russia for their Ukraine invasion. In a statement released earlier today, Mr. Kerry explained “with the advice and consent from our allies, we are prepared to block senior Russian officials from many of the Internet’s most popular porn sites.”

Russian President Vladimir V. Putin reacted angrily to the threat of new sanctions, stating “We would consider such action an attack against Russian sovereignty and ultimately an act of war. “

However, many experts cautioned that it is unlikely that the U.S. would resort to such drastic measures. Veteran analyst Annette Haven says she believes the U.S. is simply trying to save face on the world stage, but cautioned that “such a move could plunge the world economy into recession, so we are obviously concerned and monitoring the situation closely.”

Meanwhile, former U.S. Vice President, Dick Cheney, and former U.S. Secretary of State, Condi Rice, have issued a joint statement expressing outrage over the Russian invasion of Ukraine, stating “such aggression is an unprecedented assault on freedom” and urged the U.S. to attack an oil rich nation arguing that “rivers of blood from a million innocent people” will send our allies an appropriate sign of U.S. resolve.

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CNN must have picked this up from the Onion pscot Mar 2014 #1
"We will bukkake you!" Tom Ripley Mar 2014 #2
That's not a shoe they're banging on the table. NuclearDem Mar 2014 #4
At first glance, I thought he was wheeling a loaf of bread. Warren DeMontague Mar 2014 #16
You win. Brigid Mar 2014 #24
link? seabeyond Mar 2014 #3
I'm guessing the OP author made it up pinboy3niner Mar 2014 #7
This must be the onion. I don't believe a word of this bs. trashing this thread 2banon Mar 2014 #5
ditto... Satire is fine, but you need to ultimately id it as such with an issue so serious hlthe2b Mar 2014 #11
I know. Serious issues like putting a stop to pornography shouldn't be conflated with silliness Warren DeMontague Mar 2014 #18
I don't know what point you are trying to make, but I can still detect the intent to offend. hlthe2b Mar 2014 #20
Actually, it was a joke. Warren DeMontague Mar 2014 #21
You know what would be nice? Blocking all the hackers, viruses, etc. that come from Russia. reformist2 Mar 2014 #6
Got to be the onion newfie11 Mar 2014 #8
link please. .. BlancheSplanchnik Mar 2014 #9
Kerry, you idiot! LittleBlue Mar 2014 #10
We are all Pornoanoians now!1!! pinboy3niner Mar 2014 #13
next time put a satire alert...saves us time, thanks nt steve2470 Mar 2014 #12
heh penultimate Mar 2014 #14
You have to include a link to this. hrmjustin Mar 2014 #15
It worked so well for Iceland! Warren DeMontague Mar 2014 #17
Oh boy... Earth_First Mar 2014 #19
You just wait until Belladonna is appointed Secretary of the Interior derby378 Mar 2014 #22
*** Warren DeMontague Mar 2014 #23
HAHA1! Incitatus Mar 2014 #25
I think the satire is riffing on this, also satirical, piece: Warren DeMontague Mar 2014 #26
That qualifies as a DEEP THREAT! pinboy3niner Mar 2014 #27
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