General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: Women only: Regarding the use of the term 'girls' to describe women. [View all]DutchLiberal
(5,744 posts)(I didn't name any names in this post, so I hope I haven't offended anybody. I'm genuinely grateful for Mc Mike's post and the opportunity to clarify some things, so I hope nobody will be jerk and alert on it just because she/he might disagree with me.)
Yes, I'm very concerned, alarmed and disgusted at the GOP's war on women. I've told some friends over here how things are looking out for women in the States at the moment and they couldn't believe what I said. They were shocked. They, like me and probably most people in the US as well, thought that issues like birth control, a woman's right to decide over her own body, abortion etc. had all been settled in the 1960's and 1970's. Now someone who was a serious contender for the presidency had questioned all these things. Not to mention the onslaught on womens' rights in Mississippi (closing their own abortion clinic) and Arizona (reversing Equal Pay laws) and that other state where vaginal probes are now mandatory if a woman needs an abortion.
I'm with every woman who opposes this backward and dangerous trend. I must admit I don't think very highly of president Obama anymore (I feel like he has continued too much of Bush's policies), but the no.1 reason I want him to defeat Mitt Romney is to make sure women's rights won't be trampled on any further. I also hope he gets the chance to replace Scalia on the Supreme Court with another progressive, maybe another woman, who will rule more favorably for women's rights.
I have always considered myself 'a feminist man'. I have always supported feminist issues, like equal pay for equal work; more women in high political office; more women in management positions; affordable daycare for the kids to make working easier; fully paid maternity leave; and of course the right every woman has to decide for herself over her own body, which in my book, should be a given.
The reason you see "bitter infighting" in this thread between me and a couple of other members, is because these members work relentlessly to paint me as a sexist, a misogynist, a woman-hater and what have you not, because I don't agree with their, what I consider, radical points of view on some issues. I don't think I'm a pig because I think prostitution should be legal. I don't think I'm enabling abuse and exploitation of women because I don't have any problems with pornography. And those are just the issues where I can see and understand their points of view, for which they offer legitimate arguments --even though I don't agree with them. But even asking a girl out at work is now deemed "a form of coercion" on DU; not calling sex with a virgin rape is now considered "creepy" and "condoning sexual assault"; and now even calling your best friend a 'girl' is "belittling and devaluing".
I see this thread as part of a concerted effort on DU by a tiny, but vocal minority, to make anything men do or say toward women suspicious, creepy or even harmful. Everything that is deemed perfectly acceptable to the vast majority of people is now under attack because of conspiracy theories about 'The Patriarchy' that has us all indoctrinated. But our three or four brave little warriors are continuing to educate us until we "get it". Forget that there are lots of people who simply don't agree with these theories; they are labeled as dumb f---s who "don't get it." Condescending. (And then turning around and say WE are condescending.)
They work hard to push their morals on others and they constantly belittle anybody who doesn't agree with them. For instance, because I don't agree prostitution should remain illegal, I am "arguing like a true sweatshop advocate" whose only interest is "to be able to have women do only as you please". Oh, and apparently because of my position on prostitution, I see women as "semen receptables". I have to read that kind of shit every goddamn time and it's all allowed to stand, but if all do is disagreeing with someone on the appropriateness of asking a woman out at work, an alert is send saying I'm "a serial sexist offender" and that I "don't think women deserve any respect" and my post gets hidden. Just for disagreeing, I think women don't deserve respect. Apparently.
But the feminists who complain the most about how little respect men have for women (for not minding porn, or for not minding prostitution), are the first to slam other women who disagree with them. Just look upthread and you'll see posts of women writing that other women who don't mind the word 'girl' are "seriously lacking in self-respect". In other words: we, self-appointed feminists, will decide for other women what they should think and when they should be offended. And then THEY turn around and claim the moral highground?
THAT'S the reason I no longer wish to associate myself with the label 'a feminist man'. Of course I still support the issues I've always supported and I'll always rail against the GOP when it comes to their war on women, but I now reject the label 'feminist' because I think, at least on DU3, it stands for looking down on people who make different choices in lifestyle; it stands for pushing your morals onto others; it stands for insulting men, ALL men.
"All men are potential rapists" I've read on DU3. And it was said by someone in this thread who's now using misplaced sarcasm to point fingers at others. That's where my defensive attitude comes from. I'm their ally on feminist issues. They insist seeing me as a sexist and misogynist because I don't kowtow to all of their whims. That's all.
(And the sad thing is I'm afraid to hit the 'post reply' button, because I'm sure someone will alert on this, citing only the last paragraph and my transparency page and jurors will hide it without even reading the post. Wouldn't be the first time.)