General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: Do fathers still expect to be asked permission to marry their daughter? Is this a sexist tradition? [View all]rjsquirrel
(4,762 posts)Among my concepts of feminism, "one size fits all" is rarely to be found.
Marriage still involves alliances between families, not just individuals. Families have different cultural traditions. Harmony is not always achieved easily. Attitudes of older generations can be hard to change and deserve some respect too. Peace and generosity become paramount values.
As a dad of a daughter I can't imagine the scenario being discussed here anyway in the modern American mainstream world. By the time one is proposing marriage, in a healthy family it's very likely the partner has met the parents and become a member of the family (in both directions) already, at least for young couples in my experience.
It's damn due diligence too. Who the hell would propose to marry someone in a realistic way before developing a relationship with their partner's family? I can imagine situations, but they're non-typical. The biggest flaw in premise here is the image of "proposing" as something that comes out of the blue and from one side. Successful marriages begin with discussions of the desires of both partners. Heck don't most young couples now cohabit for a long time in advance of marriage?
ETA: Also it's her mama bear you're gonna have to convince lol. Dad is easy.