Meanwhile, on Yelp... (Y'allQaida/Malheur)

[opiate69]

6. I want to buy this guy a beer lol

The family and I drove out to Malheur on the Monday after New Years, but it was closed due to an infestation of Bald-Headed White Nationalist Nutcases that had migrated from Nevada during the winter. The nutcases were easy to spot from the parking lot, in their camo, bald heads and crazed eyes. I heard their mating call, "Daddy Swore An Oath!", which, oddly, seemed to only attract other male Bald-Headed White Nationalist Nutcases. I've read in National Geographic that they have a special Derp gene which allows them to claim to love and protect their communal native habitat, yet perpetually steal its resources for personal use.