Women deal with sexual misconduct at all ages - it isn't limited to young women [View all]
About 5 years ago I was groped at a conference my employer asked me to attend in California. I was about 50 at the time. The guy who felt me up is a VERY CLOSE friend and mentor to my boss. They have known each other for more than 25 years. This was the first time we had met, but the groper knew who I was and he knew for whom I work. He did it anyway.
The groper wasn't drunk, not that drunkenness is an excuse. He didn't accidentally brush against me. He very deliberately put his hand on my ass and left it there as he kept talking about whatever he was talking about. My mind went kinda blank. We were with a group of other conference attendees discussing dinner plans about 5:00 pm. I decided not to go. I didn't want to be near this asshole, after he had a few drinks, if he thought it was okay to grope me stone-cold sober.
I have been groped before, when I was younger, but after a certain age, you really don't expect it to happen again. Well, you never really expect it EVER. It just comes out of nowhere and you don't know what to do in the moment. Later you want to kick yourself for not punching the groper in the balls, but you never see it coming.
I am not a flirt, never have been, not that that is an excuse either. My point is, there is no way this jerk could have thought my behavior was anything but professional. And I was wearing business attire (damn, I hate that women have to qualify that they weren't wearing slutty outfits or flirting or 'asking for it' in any way).
I have never told anyone that I work with, including my boss, that this occurred. I am the only female in my company and I am treated with respect by my coworkers and my boss. But I believe that if I ever told my boss what happened, HE WOULD CALL ME A LIAR. I have no doubt about this. If I told my boss what happened but didn't tell him the name of the groper, this man would be one of the last people my boss would suspect.
This is what women deal with EVERY DAMN DAY.
Ladies, what are your experiences with groping or other sexual misconduct? I bet every one of you has a similar tale.
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