Everyone Seems to Be in a Big Hurry to Write Off Sen. Franken. Why?

[Ms. Toad]

89. While I agree he should not resign,

This comment, "If he were engaged in a regular pattern of butt-touching there would be a lot more than two complaints," is pretty much what was said before there were two complaints - as a way of dismissing Tweeden.

Because of the internet, the timeline between first complaint and jumping to the conclusion it is a Republican plot because, of course, there would be more if it was real - compared to the time it takes a woman to decide it is worth the risk of ridicule, character assassination, etc. that everyone - including DU - is putting accusers of liberal icons through.

If you decided years ago that it was better to just let things slide, you now have to overcome not only that decision - but the grief that you know you are going to take for not reporting immediately. I'm frankly surprised that two more women showed up this quickly - and I'm pretty sure there will b emore.

That said, I agree with your assessment about zero-tolerance policies. He has acknowledged crossing the line, sincerely apologized, and my sense is that this is a real wake-up call - that things he was doing that he believed were welcome are not necessarily welcome. Especially on this end of the spectrum of nonconsensual touching, I'm willing to give someone who has sincerely apologized and seems to now understand how serious this is, a second chance.

Which brings me to my final point: Please do not minimize the seriousness of "patt{ing} a couple of anonymous women's rear ends." I have been the recipient of such behavior - from someone I considered a friend in nearly identical circumstances. This occurred more than 27 years ago. I vividly remember the horror at feeling his hand fondling my buttocks - in a situation in which it would have been extremely awkward to respond as i would to the aggression of a stranger (we were in public, in the midst of a smaller group of mutual friends). Before I could decide whether to "make a scene" or to just get away from the situation as quickly as I could, it was over. I avoided any contact with him for 18 months - so it effectively ended a friendship with someone with whom I shared leadership in an organization.

After 18 months, he acknowledged that he must have done something to offend me - and asked if we could have a conversation because avoiding each other while we were sharing leadership was not an effective leadership strategy. In the mean time, I told my spouse and one other person about the incident - and wrestled with whether to inform the other leaders of the organization. It is not the most traumatic sexual offense in my life - I've been raped. But it was still not a trivial incident - and while the extended personal interactions would not have been an issue for these women, the question of whether to inform others because of his leadership role would have been.

Which, I guess brings me back full circle. The person who fondled my butt without consent and I are friends again, and it is unfathomable to me that he would ever engage in that conduct again - now that he has the full picture of its impact on me. Franken's apology has the same tone. I believe in second chances for people who are truly remorseful.