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Miguelito Loveless

(4,477 posts)

71. As a victim of child sexual abuse who did not file a report

Sat Mar 13, 2021, 01:51 PM

Mar 2021

but was approached by the police after the fact and “persuaded” to file a report, I can tell you that the very last thing I would ever do if assaulted again is “file a report”. Your comments in this thread questioning the reliability/actions of the women, is VERY familiar to me, and I am male.

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Female Cuomo staffers say they were pressured to wear makeup, heels, and dresses to please the gover [View all] Polybius Mar 2021 OP

So he never told them but they all agreed and went along with it ? And this wasn't before the 1990s JI7 Mar 2021 #1

The NYT said they got these reports from both current and former employees. pnwmom Mar 2021 #2

And why did they go along with it ? Seems like they were all competing for his approval JI7 Mar 2021 #4

ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? Because they needed their damn jobs, pnwmom Mar 2021 #5

So they no longer need the jobs ? JI7 Mar 2021 #6

What are you saying? It sure sounds like victim blaming. pnwmom Mar 2021 #7

All of this shit happened in recent years. I have a problem with them all going along with the shit JI7 Mar 2021 #9

Guys seem to have no idea how common this is. If women didn't go along with it, pnwmom Mar 2021 #11

I'm not a guy. I am a woman and deal with shitty guys all the time JI7 Mar 2021 #15

It can take time to process abuse. Woman #7, for example. pnwmom Mar 2021 #19

Why doesn't the employee want to file a police report ? JI7 Mar 2021 #20

I would guess women don't want to file a police report Miguelito Loveless Mar 2021 #56

Are they claiming to have been victimized ? Because nothing I read JI7 Mar 2021 #57

As a victim of child sexual abuse who did not file a report Miguelito Loveless Mar 2021 #71

There were no claims of assault here JI7 Mar 2021 #78

Again, Miguelito Loveless Mar 2021 #84

Fondling a woman under her blouse, without her consent, IS assault. pnwmom Mar 2021 #108

I am so sorry this happened to you! n/t pnwmom Mar 2021 #107

Thank you for your kind words Miguelito Loveless Mar 2021 #112

I know a young woman who was molested. The scars are still with her. pnwmom Mar 2021 #113

Disparity in power due to age, Miguelito Loveless Mar 2021 #117

Thank you so much for sharing this. I hope you've opened some eyes with this post. pnwmom Mar 2021 #118

Then you must not think that it's victimizing an employee pnwmom Mar 2021 #106

Absolutely! Thank you for understanding. n/t pnwmom Mar 2021 #105

Most likely she doesn't want to be the center of attention, pnwmom Mar 2021 #104

Can we assume that? treestar Mar 2021 #120

Many people who have potential EEOC claims don't have the means and/or the inclination pnwmom Mar 2021 #121

They are saying something now Polybius Mar 2021 #21

I have a serious problem with them going along with this JI7 Mar 2021 #23

I have an equally serious problem... Random Boomer Mar 2021 #68

There culture here was supporting Cuomo JI7 Mar 2021 #79

And this attitude is precisely the reason Ms. Toad Mar 2021 #94

I don't see any harrassment here JI7 Mar 2021 #95

You need some training on what constitutes harassment, then. n/t Ms. Toad Mar 2021 #97

I already know JI7 Mar 2021 #98

Obviously, you don't. n/t Ms. Toad Mar 2021 #100

Yes I do. Women freely deciding to wear things is not harrassment JI7 Mar 2021 #101

I've written materials used in law schools to teach Title VII of the Civil Rights Act. Ms. Toad Mar 2021 #102

Thank you. I feel like I've been banging my head against a wall. pnwmom Mar 2021 #116

It's been extremely challenging here - Ms. Toad Mar 2021 #123

It's killing me, Ms. Toad. n/t pnwmom Mar 2021 #110

With them going along with this? You are providing a textbook example in victim blaming. pnwmom Mar 2021 #109

I worked w/ a male shift lead who would do standing pelvic thrusts near the heads of seated guys. moriah Mar 2021 #88

But this wasn't the same JI7 Mar 2021 #91

Wrong. There are multiple reports of Cuomo telling women how he wanted them to look. pnwmom Mar 2021 #111

Yes, this is victim blaiming Miguelito Loveless Mar 2021 #54

you're really off on the wrong track here stopdiggin Mar 2021 #8

I certainly would have shut it down by telling him to fuck off and wear heels and dye his hair blond JI7 Mar 2021 #10

Goodie goodie gum drops. Aren't you special. n/t pnwmom Mar 2021 #12

Yes, I certainly wouldn't have told other women to dress certain ways because some asshole likes it JI7 Mar 2021 #16

People don't "need" to stop making their points treestar Mar 2021 #122

I agree. pobably a better way of handling it. thanks. stopdiggin Mar 2021 #124

Then what is their problem. They Polly Hennessey Mar 2021 #36

No, one cannot always find another GOOD job -- especially if your abuser pnwmom Mar 2021 #115

Thank you pnwmom for fighting back against the victim blamers Cassidy Mar 2021 #43

+1 spooky3 Mar 2021 #67

Thank you, as well. Ms. Toad Mar 2021 #96

Thank you for your post. I feel like I'm swimming against the tide on this issue, pnwmom Mar 2021 #114

+1 million Budi Mar 2021 #31

Are you a female? This stuff happens to women ... secondwind Mar 2021 #44

Yes I'm a woman and I would not encourage that type of culture. I have with similar issues JI7 Mar 2021 #45

That it is still happening makes it worse, not better. n/t Ms. Toad Mar 2021 #99

Surely you are aware of the concept of "power differential"? Maybe you don't intend this, but artemisia1 Mar 2021 #92

What victims ? This article was women that decided to dress certain ways JI7 Mar 2021 #93

I don't understand... ahoysrcsm Mar 2021 #103

I worked at a bank with dress codes like that. LakeArenal Mar 2021 #3

My sister works at a bank. Her bank doesn't have a dress code pnwmom Mar 2021 #13

I use two banks and one has a dress code such as dress slacks and jackets for the men and the cstanleytech Mar 2021 #29

there ARE dress codes in lots of places stopdiggin Mar 2021 #14

All dress codes are at someone's demand. LakeArenal Mar 2021 #28

Generally the boss sets the dress code for every place where they are the boss. That is not exactly cstanleytech Mar 2021 #30

I think Heels are unreasonable . Dress shoes are not unreasonable and there are many styles JI7 Mar 2021 #34

"I think Heels are unreasonable." From a purely comfort level I agree with you as I have cstanleytech Mar 2021 #38

that's an over simplification stopdiggin Mar 2021 #47

Maybe I missed it but I do not see in the article where it said they should ""show a little fanny.". cstanleytech Mar 2021 #48

the 'fanny' line was an illustration of what ISN'T stopdiggin Mar 2021 #76

If the men were being asked to dress professionally in cstanleytech Mar 2021 #89

I would like to know if he made comments to men, too torius Mar 2021 #17

Wow Snackshack Mar 2021 #18

Do women have to wear heels at Delta? speak easy Mar 2021 #62

Flight attendants do, at least while going to the plane jmowreader Mar 2021 #90

Do male staffers feel they have to wear suits, ties, get haircuts, shave, have polished shoes? Midnight Writer Mar 2021 #22

THe "general understanding" was they were all about their own power JI7 Mar 2021 #24

Are you saying that a dress code for professional men would be bad? Grasswire2 Mar 2021 #25

There always has been one. elleng Mar 2021 #27

If the dress code required men to dress in ways intended to be spooky3 Mar 2021 #33

To be fair rules regarding what to wear for the workplace are not new and yes those can include cstanleytech Mar 2021 #26

Dearie, dearie me. There was a dress code in the State Governor's office? How ghastly... Hekate Mar 2021 #32

well said Grasswire2 Mar 2021 #35

If you read all of the NYT and New Yorker articles, I think spooky3 Mar 2021 #37

The New York Magazine article was also eye-opening. demmiblue Mar 2021 #74

Thanks for that link. Nt spooky3 Mar 2021 #75

Well true in that place of business though the whole spandex thing might well be a requirement cstanleytech Mar 2021 #39

Exactly. It's no surprise you can't wear shorts and flip flops Nixie Mar 2021 #58

Um, CORPORATE policy for a company I worked for in 2001-09 was only skirts for women crimycarny Mar 2021 #40

Dang, I hate to imagine how it feels to wear a dress when it gets that cold. cstanleytech Mar 2021 #42

This message was self-deleted by its author crimycarny Mar 2021 #41

I've heard my local weather girl comment bamagal62 Mar 2021 #46

"He deserves an investigation." An investigation is a must to find out if its true or if its not. cstanleytech Mar 2021 #49

If he did everything he was accused of spooky3 Mar 2021 #70

The fact that he's a crappy boss Sgent Mar 2021 #87

Due process is important. Fair is fair. NurseJackie Mar 2021 #50

Dress to impress remains good advice bucolic_frolic Mar 2021 #51

The piling on is making the original complaint fade into the background. Vinca Mar 2021 #52

Okay. True story time. I worked for a major tech company for 30 years. sinkingfeeling Mar 2021 #53

So he belongs on the Supreme Court like Kavanaugh? Freethinker65 Mar 2021 #55

This. Like I said, bamagal62 Mar 2021 #125

Glad there will be an investigation Karma13612 Mar 2021 #59

Jmho, but Cuomo is the kind of boss who Deminpenn Mar 2021 #60

Very good analysis Karma13612 Mar 2021 #61

Right there with you Deminpenn Mar 2021 #63

Yup!!.. nt Karma13612 Mar 2021 #65

It seems like Cuomo Turbineguy Mar 2021 #64

:-) I need one of those STFU angels sometimes! spooky3 Mar 2021 #66

Very Kavanaugh-esque. He had the same rules and preferences for female law clerks Blasphemer Mar 2021 #69

Cuomo's dress code for working in state capitol offices maliaSmith Mar 2021 #72

Welcome to DU!! StevieM Mar 2021 #73

Here is the problem, there is nothing where anyone says Cuomo JI7 Mar 2021 #86

Also this article doesn't say anything about Cuomo himself JI7 Mar 2021 #80

Hillary Clinton would probably have some things to say about that dress code (if it is true). demmiblue Mar 2021 #77

By the way, how's Gov Abbott doing with all his dead people? And Gov de Santis? Hekate Mar 2021 #81

Investigate, but it's not looking good. Joinfortmill Mar 2021 #82

If Cuomo were Republican twodogsbarking Mar 2021 #83

I remember someone on DU giving Kavanaugh the benefit of doubt Polybius Mar 2021 #126

Not going to take sides other than to say this: Aussie105 Mar 2021 #85

Everyone does that treestar Mar 2021 #119

+1 ancianita Mar 2021 #127