Why Do Schizophrenics Hear Voices?

[hunter]

6. Hmmmm... my own perceptions of time are screwy.

I think that whatever synthesizes the "now" experience in my consciousness is faulty. I can ride a bike or drive a car and stuff, but I've got to suppress the "voice in my head" entirely to do it and furthermore I've got to suppress outside voices too. People talking to me when I drive, or worse, giving directions, confuses the hell out of me. Time gets all shifty and my consciousness loses synch. I lose solid contact with the "real world" where a ton of moving metal can cause serious injury or death. Do not talk to me, the driver.

In my normal, not writing-or-talking, internal mental life I shut down the voices entirely. If I hear a radio I may be aware someone is speaking English or Spanish, but the words simply don't register. It's all a foreign language. If there are any "voices in my head," those don't register either. No "self-dialogues," no, "Oh my gosh, cute kittens!" It's usually quiet in my head, the voices are distant and unintelligible.

I think that's why I like this cartoon:


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_the_Internet,_nobody_knows_you're_a_dog

Maybe my normal mental life does resemble a dog's.

This has consequences. In my normal, non-language mode, it takes me a second to engage when someone asks me something and I will always miss the first few words. Sometimes I can "replay" them, but mostly not. And sometimes I will miss the first few words when I have to speak to someone too. I'll believe I've said the words, but people tell me I haven't, that I will simply start talking in the middle of a sentence.

I often suffer auditory hallucinations, usually someone calling me who isn't there -- which is disconcerting when it's someone like my long dead grandmothers. Or parrots. Or dogs. (Heh, I hear dead people...) My ability to tune out these hallucinations causes problems when someone is actually there calling me.

Maybe I'm borderline schizophrenic. Maybe I didn't like what the "voices in my head" were saying so I compensated by shutting them out entirely. "Piss off, voices!"

This time anomaly even influences the way I think about the universe. I don't think we live in a four-dimensional universe, one with three Cartesian coordinates of x,y,z and a different sort of dimension, t for time. I'm pretty sure the normal universe can be described in three identical dimensions each of which is, roughly speaking, 2/3 space-like and 1/3 time-like. It simplifies the math, making it all energy. There is not time, everything is ripping along at the speed of light, the only "speed" possible. What we perceive as time is a relationship of causality that proved useful in our evolution; the propagation of our genes. We don't "see" the universe as it truly is.