October 29, 2024

Update: Her arraignment is today

She's got two felony DV charges one with the added addition of great bodily harm. Bail is set at 75k for now.

I finally spoke to my victim advocate today. Let her know that I was definitely scared and contemplating having a bag packed and the cat carrier ready so if I get noticed that she got out I can bail and run to a hotel.

Because I told her freight is straight flat out that the restraining order wasn't going to do anything. And that calling the sheriff would not help, because if she shows up here she's crazy enough to punch her hand through the window and come after me..

The advocate says she will call me directly from the courthouse as soon as she knows what happens...

I mean I could be wrong and of course she could be being a complete a sweetheart and lamb to everybody in there because she's a master at manipulation. I'm sure they've seen it all though and she does have a past record from her home state.

I don't know if the judge can increase the bail but I definitely did everything I could to tell the sheriff, the DA's office and anybody who would listen, that I think that this was premeditated. And that her whole plan all along was to bury me under the house and take everything for herself that's why she made me marry her....

On a positive note,
I got in touch with my school counselor and he is really stoked about helping me get a job on campus and move into an apartment in the city! So I speak to him tomorrow at 3:00.
I also set up telehealth through my University and have a counseling appointment set up and I have online support and 24/7 chat and crisis line...
She also gave me a link to Codependents anonymous

October 27, 2024

I dont know if this is a computer question... trying to scrub my email trail...

My wife is in jail right now for DV, 2 felonies...I'm trying to get the DA to raise it to an attempted murder charge.

In the meantime, I am taking down socials, getting direct contacts with friends set up and working on changing all my accounts.
Most everything is tied to one gmail address.

Can I make another one and "re-direct" like a website?
Or should I re-do every account I have?
I am afraid I will miss something...

My goal is to basically make it so I cease to exist...people can email that acct but it will go "nowhere"

Is this a possibility?
Does anyone have experience with basically putting themselves into witness protection?

I'm also going to close up my house for the winter and go live in a different city. I figure most legal stuff can be done via Zoom now, and if I have to jump on a plane that's ok too...

October 26, 2024

I guess sometimes mandatory reporting is a good thing

https://www.democraticunderground.com/115120215

I kind of freaked out reading about the damage that can be caused by being strangled by someone and the fact that it increases the likelihood that they'll kill you by like 750% which is freaking crazy.

So I called the ER locally and asked him if I came in with a DV injury would that mean they had to call the police or what.
Didn't give him a name but they traced me next thing I know within 15-20 minutes I got a knock on the door.

Anyway, I told them what happened downstairs in the driveway. She took pictures got everything on her body cam. So it was a male and a female officer, and I guess the sergeant came along for fun. (Probably because my house has been in their records because of my teenage son's angst and his proclivity to calling them when we get into arguments and telling them that I was being a horrible mother blah blah blah.😒🙄

They put me in the back of their car while they went upstairs to talk to her. Now what's funny is that we've got cameras in the house, for when we go out of town to watch the cats and make sure the house is okay. So basically I had my phone on me and I watched the entire thing in the living room.
She didn't argue or anything like that. She knew better cuz she's had a record. However, she basically said that I came at her and that she didn't remember any of the threats or any of it blamed it on the medication and yeah...
I know that there must have been defensive wounds on her arm because the second time tonight I was holding my hand on her arm and digging my nails in trying to get her off me.

Anyway they took her in cuffs and said that they had medical accommodations in prison for her so now I'm alone in my house with the doors locked and I'm not quite sure what tomorrow will bring I'm in a lot of pain and I am a little swollen. I plan to go to the hospital and make sure that I get some x-rays and get checked out cuz it is scary. But it's 2:00 in the morning and I've got to try to get at least a few hours of sleep maybe I'll go in at like 6:00 I don't know...

Again sorry for the run-ons talk to text is stupid LOL

I haven't told anyone about any of this none of my actual IRL friends. I sent one message to one person who I consider a daughter. Earlier today I emailed my kid and told them I was sorry and that I expected that River and I were going to break up and that I was sorry for the wedge that she had put between us. But as far as my best friends that I have known since elementary school that have been with me through everything in this world I haven't said a word
So thank you all for being here. You truly are a family away from family home away from home etc I'll keep you posted as soon as I get back from the hospital I'll just reply to this thread so I don't start another one and clog up the internets 😆

October 26, 2024

I'm giving her 7 days to get out we'll see if we make it that long without somebody getting really hurt

.... I'm going to have to instacart hardware and try to somehow bolt my bedroom door. I'm not going to leave my room if I don't have to and tonight while she's sleeping I'm going to get all of my breakables and valuables out of the living room.

I came home from the doctor's completely discouraged because the bottom line is unless I'm willing to call the cops no one can help me and even then when they let her out she'll just come back here and I don't know what...

Tonight she thralled me and had me on the floor with a piece of hard sharp broken ceramic up by my cheek in my eye she also told me to go ahead and sleep tonight and see if I wake up in the morning. She said she's going to take one of the cats when she leaves because it's hers even though she'll probably kill it on her way back to georgia.

I should have known better. I should have known better than to try and love somebody who was on that many medications I should have known that she'd go psycho on me sooner or later and it was just a matter of time

I'm giving her a week to sell whatever she can to get money to get the fuck out of here. She's taking the car because I bought it for her with money from my parents estate and now I'll have to go find myself a car she's got both keys so now I'm also stranded

I doubt if I'm sleeping tonight but if I do it'll be with the one eye fucking open

October 25, 2024

Part two, the morning after....

https://www.democraticunderground.com/115120188

So I had my stupipd dr appt this morning.

Apparently now that my wife took the anxiety meds she was supposed to be taking since surgery she's fine now and of course full of all the guilt and reframing everything like that was all it was.

I called the women's Center, made the beginning of an intake form on the phone...they want me to come in person this afternoon, but I wont go. All they can do is offer me the same lame services and hotlines. That doesnt change the shit going on in my head or my house.
She gave herself a great shiner, i only have one small bruise showing on my jaw.

One minute she beggin me to talk to her and when I tell her Im still pissed and dont think I can talk rationally and told her I called the DV place, she reminded me how "I" gave her a black eye...

You know, it really sucks when you love someone and they end up manipulating you. Now I'm gonna feel guil;ty for telling her to leave, ands I honestly cant do that while she's in a fucking neck brace a week from surgery...
So now she's "selling everything" so she can have enough money to leave. This is the kinda shit that makes me crazy and pissed.

I don't WANT to feel bad for her. I also dont like the excuse that it was just that one thing and it wont happen because "Im never gonna have surgery again or take those meds..."

I literally feel like I have NOBODY to help me figure out what to do. She's cut me off from my adult kids, my parents are dead, and my two best friends live half a state away....and here's the kicker. I dont wanna tell my best friends because I feel like they are going to say "howo could you let that happen to you again...?" (my ex husband was a peice of work, ironically, his abuse was not physical like this)

The dr gave me therapists numbers and said maybe couples would help.
Called HER best friend in Chicago and she told me to pray on it and that we needed to sit down and rationally talk....told my wife that *I* wanted to talk so when I got home from the Dr she wanted to talk and I'm still pissed and cant get over it.

I'm venting here because I have nobody else to call.

October 25, 2024

Really worried about my wife and also myself

Im typing on my phone and some talk to text so forgive my run ons and spelling.

She just had major neck surgery and they of course gave her oxycodone. She is a former addict and she was being super careful about the meds, not taking her anxiety valium in between doses because she was afraid of the breathing depression...i get it, but I have no idea how many psych meds shes on, and had no idea she was cold turkey off anxiety meds for over a week.
It all came to a head in the kitchen when I was boiling veggies wrong, and shit went sideways.
She got mad and stares doing a whole meal for herself while talking about how i cant take care of her and she should do it all or hire someone...and then mocked me because she criticize me and said now you're gonna cry about it and its all about you.
I told her im not crying anf im fine but she can let me handle it and the next thing I know shes got me pushed against the freezer and garbage can and on the kitchen floor with her hands on my throat and face

I got to my phone and decided to call her therapist so she couldn't hear and she was no help.told me to leave the house...
Meanwhile im screaming cuz shes on me again and then hit herself saying my name and if I call the cops we'll both go to jail...

An hour past the escalation, shes in her room and is saying she will sell her stuff and leave...im not afraid of her but im feeling like she needs better care than I can give her right now. If I say anything about it to her dr idk if theyd put her in a place or not. She is making the suicidal threats but how much if that is post abuse guilt?

Ive been abused before but not like that. Weve had 2 other incidents in 3 years and two of them were due to medical procedures that messed up her balance. She does have autism too so the inability to understand my social cues and regulate her emotions (anger especially) is there.

I don't want her to leave when she's got a 7 inch gach in her neck and 13 weeks of recovery ahead. But I feel like it's out of my wheelhouse...

I hate that my first response when I get hurt or something is to "worry" about the other person.
I also have a dr appointment tomorrow with my own physician, um not going to be able to hide the bruises on my face and neck...


WTF do I do ???

October 24, 2024

Does Biden and the Administration have our backs, are they perpared?

I'm sorry to be a Debbie Downer or freak out , BUUUUUTTT:

After the news about the mailbox being blown-up/set on fire...and the guy who was shooting at the Dem HQ in AZ and they found all the guns and ammo... probably more stuff I missed.... oh yeah, the guy gunning for FEMA

There are obviously people out there who are just as unhinged as TFG is. ARMED people.
The domestic terrorism acts are already starting.
These folks dont wanna come to the other side, they aren't on the fence, they are mad and arent gonna take it laying down...

SO, I'm not suggesting we have national guard at polling places or anything...but wtf can be done from any standpoint?

Are we just gonna have to duck random acts of violence before and after the election?
Will those acts become more coordinated? Are they already?

I'm not talkking about fear of a TFG Presidency...Im talking about what happens on the streets and hollers when he loses and in these days leading up to Nov 5th?

October 21, 2024

OMG someone needs to make a Photoshop/meme...

Instead of fries make it look like he's throwing a cat in the fryer
(bad idea, we'd get in trouble with the PETA/SPCA people)

Need an AI of him holding a bag of MeowDonalds

October 20, 2024

So, where TF is Vance...?

Now smack me upside the head cuz I dont watch MSM...mostly get my news from Meidas and Adam Mockler, snippets on you tube here & there...

But am I crazy or has Vance dissappeared in the weeks since the debate etc?

hmmmmmmm......

October 19, 2024

Heard a new word to describe TFG

Despot

Yes we've heard authoritarian yes we've heard tyrant yes we've heard so many other totalitarian terms. But despot in my opinion really drives it home. The most recent in My memory time that I've ever heard that word used was Pol pot in Vietnam and I was too young to even remember that. So yeah my new term for the fucker id " wannabe Despot"