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Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 41,772

Journal Archives

I know what the new GOP emblem should be

It's got to be a wooden bridge - the underside of which is the Republican's natural habitat.

Fair is fair: What street in NYC would you name after Trump?

The story so far: Thousands of people have signed a petition asking for one block of New York City's Fifth Avenue to be renamed "President Barack H. Obama Avenue." The block happens to be the one Trump Tower is sitting on.

We have to be fair. If President Obama, who - last I checked - is not a New Yorker gets a New York street named after him, then it's only fair that the New York born and bred "president" Trump gets one too.

My recommendation is Hazen St. from 19th Avenue north to Hillside Avenue...which is the road that leads to and runs through the New York City jail.

If you have any of Lakefront Brewery's My Turn Junk beer, drink it right now


Lakefront Brewery recalled their My Turn Junk beer, which is a "kettle sour with cherries and sakura" according to the label, because it's made with fresh cherries and the cherries' skins are coated with naturally-occurring wild yeast. This could cause overpressure in the bottle and initiate an explosion that will potentially injure innocent and non-innocent bystanders.

The brewery says the beer is safe to drink if it doesn't explode and take out the drinker in a shower of shrapnel first.

And so, because it is safe to drink but not safe to store...drink that shit up, chieftain.

Thus ends today's safety lecture.

A message to Donald Trump from the people of Greenland

Go ahead and try to buy the frigid little island we call home.

There are enough of us to turn at least four red states blue.

BTW you do have fish in your stores, right? That’s all we eat.

World's oldest athlete scores 150th win


John Force, 70, won the Funny Car class at Sunday's NHRA Northwest Nationals. It is a record-extending 150th win. In all motorsports there's only one driver with more national-series wins...and Richard Petty's 200 wins is a mark that'll probably never be matched. On the flip side, Force's 15 season championships is more than double Petty's seven.

2020 General Election Campaign Drinking Game

Drink every time Trump says something that isn't stupid, racist or boastful.

You're guaranteed to end up with at least as much beer as you started with.

MAGA Coalition trying to sue QAnon


Today, MAGA Coalition, Inc President Adam Gingrich announced pending litigation to be filed in a federal court to discover the identity of the author of 8chan posts written by “Q,” or “QAnon,” and pursue legal recourse on behalf of the non-profit. The case involves several posts on the 8chan board where “QAnon” anonymously promulgated a libelous attack on the MAGA Coalition, despite clear and publicly discoverable evidence to the contrary on the Federal Elections Commission (FEC.gov) website.

“Four months ago, a person or persons posting on 8chan under a unique trip code identifying as Q, made malicious and demonstrably false statements about our federally registered non-profit,” said PAC President Adam Gingrich. “These baseless claims were then blasted out in unison through several associated social media accounts to maximize the damage to our ability to function. We hold all these prominent Q accounts, along with the 8chan poster, accountable for the systemic re-publication of these defamatory claims.”

You have to admit this is pretty damn funny: two extremely pro-Trump groups going at each other's throats.

Is it only me, or do you do this too?

Every morning I wake up and think, "what has that asshole done now?"

The best part of the Presidential Seal Debacle...

...is that absolutely no one in the Trump Jugend knew what the presidential seal really looks like.

I am so scared...

I just got the most frightening of phone calls...

"Hello, this is a prerecorded telephone call. We are calling to inform you that the Social Security Administration is filing a lawsuit against you..."

If it hadn't been a "prerecorded telephone call" I would have asked the asshole at the other end what a life of crime was really like. But the sick thing is, lots of senior citizens could fall for this shit.
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