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jmowreader

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Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 41,285

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Iran attack abort: What the holy hell?

According to the Boston Globe, Trump called off the Iran strike 10 minutes before it happened because he was told about 150 people would die, and he didn't think an "unmanned drone" was worth killing people.

The shocking thing here is that Donald Fucking Trump, the Electoral College's pick for president in 2016, apparently didn't know "military action" would actually kill anyone.

I smell Putin here, folks. The United States is weaker today because we have the president we do, and has been neutered by that ugly, foot-too-long-waistcoat scumbag announcing to the world he just rattles sabers.

Every Democratic candidate is a single-issue candidate

The issue is "Donald Trump is an existential threat to the world. His presidency needs to end."

I have eaten all four of the McDonald's "Worldwide Favorites"

McDonald's summer promotion this year is bringing food items that are popular in other countries to America. They are offering "for a limited time only":

The Grand McExtreme Bacon Burger, from Spain
The Tomato Mozzarella Chicken Sandwich, from Canada
Cheesy Bacon Fries, from Australia
Stroopwafel McFlurry, from the Netherlands

They're all pretty good. Let's delve a little further in.

Grand McExtreme Bacon Burger: The pride of Espana, this is a Quarter Pounder (your choice of single or double patty) with two slices of gouda cheese (on the single burger the cheese is on both sides of the patty; on the double, there's one on top of the patty stack and one between the two meat slabs), a few slices of McDonald's-standard bacon, and "McBacon" sauce. This glop is mostly mayo with something in there to turn it slightly orange, and a little bit of bacon in there just for GP. If you like the Quarter Pounder you'll like this fine; the bacon and sauce mingle with the nonstandard cheese to create a tasty burger. Given that, I won't pine for this when it departs the menu.

Tomato Mozzarella Chicken Sandwich: This is seriously good. You get your choice of crispy (which I got) or grilled chicken, mozzarella cheese, a slice of tomato, lettuce, and a sauce which is basically ketchup and mayo with added spices. The boys in Atlanta who run Chick-fil-A should be sweating a little right now; this is a hell of a lot better sandwich than they serve, and you can eat it on Sunday at least for now. If they put bacon on this, it would be even better. Maybe there's a way to have them add it; not sure because the Mickey D's menu is pretty much carved in stone.

Cheesy Bacon Fries: Imagine taking an order of McDonald's fries, slapping a scoop of warmed-up Cheez Wiz on top, and sprinkling bacon bits on top of that. Then go to McDonald's because that's exactly what's in the box of Cheesy Bacon Fries. The way they come from the kitchen they're a little overwhelming, but there's a cure for that: Buy an order of regular fries at the same time. When they come to you, dump the order of regular fries into the box of Cheesy Bacon Fries and shake the living fuck out of the box to more evenly distribute the cheese. Then they'll be excellent.

Stroopwafel McFlurry: The stroopwafel is Holland's answer to biscotti. It is a Dutch delicacy consisting of two thin waffle cookies glued together with caramel. The official way to eat them is to lay them on top of a cup of hot beverage until the caramel softens. They are really good. The process for making the stroopwafel McFlurry is to take a case of stroopwafels outside, throw it off the roof of the building about ten times, then stir some of the shrapnel into soft-serve ice cream. There is absolutely no way anyone could fuck this up. It tastes a lot like a caramel sundae with cookie crumbs sprinkled on it. If you like caramel sundaes, you'll love this.

Ranking the four:
The best one is, of course, the Stroopwafel McFlurry. Unfortunately, it's a dessert.

The best entree is the Tomato Mozzarella Chicken Sandwich. I don't think the Grand McExtreme Bacon Burger is quite as good, but other reviewers seem to prefer it to the chicken sandwich. You can't really go wrong either way.

The Cheesy Bacon Fries? This is not CBF's first rodeo, and the last time they were on the menu people just went totally apeshit for them. (Which is why they're back. Hard to argue with success.) I can eat a few, but there's too much flavor in them for my tastes. You might like them fine.

2 injured in eastern Idaho upholstery shop explosion

https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/northwest/2-injured-in-eastern-idaho-upholstery-shop-explosion/

IDAHO FALLS, Idaho (AP) — Two people were injured in an explosion at an eastern Idaho upholstery business.

The Post Register reports the explosion happened Sunday at Terry & Sons Upholstery Company in Idaho Falls.

Two people who were inside or near the building were taken to a nearby hospital for treatment. Their conditions are unknown, and their names were not released.


This shop does vehicle upholstery, and eight cars were in the building at the time of the explosion.

How to understand Republicans, in one easy lesson

REPUBLICANISM is the need to get revenge because...

SOMEWHERE you won't go,
SOMEONE you don't know,
is doing SOMETHING you don't like.

I have figured out the Trump job-creation numbers. I don't like it.

We all know, because Trump has told us, that job creation is at a record pace.

The other day, I was looking around my little burg and noticed something odd: The vast majority of the jobs that have been created here have something to do with food - and almost all the places that were offering jobs also offer home delivery. The rest of the jobs are in banking and telecommunications.

Therefore, I believe it to be completely feasible that the reason all these jobs are being created is people are scared to leave their homes thanks to the epidemic of mass shootings. If someone can find a telecommuting job, homeschool their children, and have everything they need delivered through DoorDash, UberEats, Walmart Home Delivery, and whatever online shopping site they choose to go through, they can just barricade themselves in the house and keep the world away.

You can read this as "Trump has nothing to do with this" or "Trump has everything to do with this, and that's a problem" but that's how I see it.

Trump, the Pope and a bucket of chicken

Three American “prosperity gospel” preachers, Jim Bakker, Joel Osteen and Paula White, were granted an audience with the Pope at the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican. They called Donald Trump and asked him if he’d like to go along. “Sure!”

Before they went to the Sistine Chapel, Trump had his driver stop at a KFC for a bucket of chicken. “Are you sure that’s okay?” asked Jim Bakker. “I’m the president. I can do anything I want.”

When they got to the Vatican, the three ministers went to the altar to receive the Pope’s blessing. Trump sat at the back of the room, eating his chicken and throwing the bones on the floor. The pope entered the sanctuary, walked past the three preachers, went straight to Trump, made the sign of the cross and walked out of the room.

The ministers were flabbergasted.

“Mr. President, how is it that you were blessed by the Pope and we were not?”

“It wasn’t like that at all,” Trump said. “He stood in front of me and said…

(pointing at the sky) Who are you to desecrate the sanctity of the House of God?

(pointing at the floor) Now pick up those chicken bones…

(pointing to his left) get those three con artists…

(pointing to his right) and get the hell out of my church.”

I believe the Alabama people shot themselves in the foot

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I have heard the extremist Alabama law also prohibits crossing state lines to receive abortion care.

If that happens, the line of attack that’ll work best will be on freedom to travel.

One of the finest ideas I've ever heard from the Hard Right

So today I was working on the very, very Republican weekly we print, and I found this lovely little piece on the Editorial page:

https://www.wsj.com/articles/a-tax-on-robocalls-makes-plenty-of-cents-11553727899

Condensed version: because everyone hates robocalls, President Trump (yes, it pains me to type those words) should implement, and take credit for, a one-cent tax on every phone call made in America. The intent will be to make robocalling so expensive that no one will do it any more.

So...let's look at just how wonderful of a thing this tax would be.

First, it won't do shit to the robocall industry. I would be VERY surprised if any robocalling company was located inside the US; if any are, it wouldn't take much for them to pick up and move. You couldn't levy a tax on a call originating outside the US, so any robocall firm in, say, India or Nigeria would be automatically exempt.

It WILL whack the hell out of legitimate businesses in the US. Places like hospitals and hotels live on the phone. If a corporation makes ten thousand calls a day across all its branches, they'll have to come up with an extra $26,000 a year just for the taxman.

Local governments will also get raked over the coals with this tax.

It will also do a real number on the elderly. Life Alert bracelets call the company frequently. Granny's on a fixed income guys, she ain't got an extra ten bucks a month for taxes.

And let us not forget our Millennial population. Those folks live on the phone. An extra $20 or $30 per month may not sound like much to you, but that's a couple of meals to them.

All to stop something (or not stop it, more than likely) that's not much more than a nuisance.

So...why is this such a fantastic idea? Because if Trump does anything this stupid, especially after passing the "Trump got his tax cut, GFY" bill, it will pretty much guarantee the GOP will get its asses handed to it next November.

My "difference between D and R" joke is becoming popular

In ref https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212071513 (Utne Reader condensed version: a hurricane hits Florida and causes a billion dollars in damage. The Democratic solution is to send the Army and spend $1.2B of tax dollars. The Republican solution is to start a faith-based charity and give tax cuts to encourage people to donate. That’s what they do, and it ends up costing the taxpayer 10 times as much as if we’d followed the Democratic solution in the first place.)

This morning I learned the joke has over 3200 upvotes on Quora.
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