😈Giuliani to leave Trump's legal defense team!

😈Breaking News, Giuliani to leave Trump's legal defense team👤

Rooters News Service “et veraces, sicut vulpes”
Washington, D.C.

It has been reported that President Donald Trump’s attorney, former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani, will leave the President’s legal defense team on June 4, and is presently in negotiations to portray Skeletor in a live action reboot of “He-Man Masters of the Universe”, to begin filming in the fall. Mel Gibson is reportedly slated to direct the anticipated blockbuster, and it is rumored that the screenplay is being written by none other than Steve Bannon of Breitbart News Service.

More details are expected to be released in upcoming days.

😈Trump orders immediate changes to design of border wall

Mar-a-Lago, Florida
Rooters News Service

President Donald Trump has ordered several immediate changes to the design of his proposed border wall, a central point of his 2016 Presidential campaign.
In several places in Arizona and New Mexico, the wall will be doubled and overlapped, creating mazelike dead ends to trap illegal border crossers, and making the total length of the wall greater than that of the Great Wall of China. It will also consist of two parallel walls twenty meters apart, to make it thicker in cross section than the Great Wall. “This is America”, Trump said to a cheering crowd at a recent NRA conference, ”and we need to show the Chinese once and for all that everything in America is longer and thicker!”
When it was pointed out that this would make the proposed wall more expensive, Trump said “I have made it clear that Mexico will be paying for the wall. And we will sell advertising on the side visible from the U.S. to turn a profit.”

In Trump's position, lawyers are hired to smooth things over

with a shovel, and then say “There’s no hole here and never was, folks, nothing to see, let’s move on....” but Giuliani just keeps digging the hole deeper and calling more attention to it. The only thing I can think of is that Trump is going for an insanity defense, on the basis that he’d have to be crazy to hire Giuliani as his lawyer.

I know they have been friends for a long time, but with friends like Rudy Giuliani who needs enemas?

Names of two Russian women in pee tape have been leaked!

Moscow (Rooters News Service)

Their actual Russian names are not knownat this time but both specialize in the sort of scenario Trump was allegedly involved in in Moscow, and which is said to be popular with some wealthy foreign businessmen.

The two women use the pseudonyms “Amber Sessions” and “Irain Onyou”

According to their peers in the sex trade, they are now in hiding in St. Peetersburg.

The acts were reportedly arranged by a shadowy Cuban-Russian intelligence operative, Juan-Domenico Sonovovich, AKA Juan-Dom Sonovovich.

The Trump administration is reportedly still looking for the source of the leak.

First draft of Trump Doctor letter leaked!

To whom it may concern

I have been Donald Trump’s personal fizicien for 39 years. He is in bigly Health, far far healthier than crooked Hillary or anyone else for that matter. In fact he is in biglier health then anyone who ever has lived. You will get tired of having such a healthy President.
His intelegince, strength, stamina and sexual prowess are legendary. He is 6’4” tall and weighs 195 pounds. He has a full head of naturally blond hair. His hands are 11 inches across. His lab results are excellently brilliant, the world’s best lab results. He is able to satisfy his younger supermodel wife without resorting to any chemical assistance whatsoever. He is a stable genius, with a highly rated stable geniosity rating. Mr. Trump never tells lies and never ever fails to pay people who perform work at his world famous resorts, the best resorts in the world. He did not write this letter.

Signed,
Dr. Bornstein