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skip fox

skip fox's Journal
skip fox's Journal
November 11, 2014

The mind is a terrible thing to take a dump on. . . . Please come CAPTION W!!!!

George ("They didn't ask Picasso hard questions. Why me?&quot Bush is saying: "Bob, they are simply wrong and for one good reason: The Iraqi War saved hundreds and thousands of lives all over the world, including millions in the United States. . . . It's called 'The Butterfly Effect," and it says that if Saddam was even thinking about weapons of mass destruction it was just as though he had destroyed our country and democracy and everything. . . . It's like dominoes or nuclear confusion or something. . . You do the math. . . . Don't they teach anything in school anymore? . . . It's like the Dim Ages all over again."
November 11, 2014

Here come the Fudge! . . .Please come CAPTION Andrew Napolitano!!!

Andrew ("Child servitude is not only in the Constitution but in the Bible as well!&quot Napolitano is saying: "This so-called Net Neutrality is anything but. In fact it's exactly the opposite of what it sounds like. . . . It's actually 'Net Centrality," and you know where the 'centrality' will be of course: . . . in the Oval Office for the next two years then down in the hood with the thugs and wanta-be ganstas that Obama has formed into his new Black Panther Strike Force. . . . These guys wouldn't know 'neutrality' anymore than a virulent racist would suspect he might be prejudiced! . . . I can't get over these clowns."


The above CAPTION is based on the following Media Matters story:

August 25, 2014

Who put the 'ham' in Ingraham? . . . Please come CAPTION a most detestable bio-form!!!

Laura ("If the truth was an animal, it would be roadkill!&quot Ingraham is saying: "Okay, he's pushing immigration reform, so he's going to go down! . . . Thus ends the political career of another ideological buffoon, Paul Ryan. . . If it wasn't for gerrymandering, he couldn't even stay in Congress, . . . but he's got the gonadas to think he could ascend onto the national stage??? . . . Vice-President Ryan! . . . President Ryan!. . . What a joke! . . . He doesn't have the concern of Ronald Reagan. . . . He sorely lacks the strength of conviction of the elder George Bush, or even of Jimmy Carter for that matter, . . . and is completely devoid of the brains of George W. Bush. . . . Who's advising these weenies, anyway?"


Above CAPTION is loosely based on the following Media Matters story:

August 24, 2014

“How do you say ‘Scram, Pedro!’ in Mexicanese?”. . .Come CAPTION National Review Editor Rich Lowrey!

Rich (“Compassion’s for the stupid and weak”) Lowrey is saying: “Look, I agree that the Republicans are going to need the Mexican-American vote, among other things, to win back the White House, s we should stretch out a friendly hand to them. . . . but any so-called Republican who would even suggest a reform of immigration policy should be tar-and-feathered, drawn-and-quartered, their innards pulled out of their writhing bodies under a midday desert sun, and have someone take a hot, wet, greasy dump on their evaginated hearts! . . . Just how is that a contradiction??? . . . I’d really like to know!”


Above CAPTION based (rather closely) on the following Media Matters story:

August 23, 2014

"A turd in the rough." . . . Please come CAPTION Sgt. Major Dan Page, St. Louis County policeman!

Sgt. Major Dan (The man who only a gun could love!!!) Page is saying: "And I promise you this, ladies and gentlemen, nobody who captions me can do a better job of satire than me, myself. . . . They might try like all the Turks with basements who live on rocky hillsides, . . . or Fascist-Reds who dress like professors and act out and speak up like they're just begging to be mowed down, . . . or like dirty K**ks or g**ks or or j**ks, you name it for whom disappearance would be a delight all around: . . . they'd be rid of their miserable existence, and we would have the magnificent social benefit of their riddance, . . . If nothing else, that's a win-win! . . . . Like I said, . . . Nobody, simply nobody, can do a better job than myself!"


Above CAPTION based on the following Daily Kos story (with a clip you'll think written in the wet-dream of a homicidal savant):


August 22, 2014

Get your heart medication at hand. . . . Then please come CAPTION Fox darling Larry Elder!!

Larry ("Slavery was just a little misunderstanding in history.&quot Elder is saying, "You're right, Bill, I don't think there's any racism in America today. . . . None! . . . And let me tell you why. . . . Studies show black people use the 'N' word approximately 12.8 times more often to refer to fellow black people often than whites use it. . . . Further, black people tend to act out and yell at the police and other authorizes all the time, like they're begging for a beating . . . In short, if black people would act more like white people, you'd see an end of racial strife in this country. . . The real racism can be seen in the war on white males!!!! . . . Why, let me tell you . . ."


Above CAPTION loosely based on the following Media Matters story:


August 21, 2014

"Even my tapeworm has a personality!" . . . Please come CAPTION Sarah Palin!!!

Sara ("Sometimes I get my mind all mixed up with what I'm saying to whoever it is I'm talking with unless it's in a dream. . . . Just how is that crazy?&quot Palin is saying: "Well, Megyn, if you want to know the truth, Tina Fey owes me big time! . . . After all, what is she but a talentless frump who would be changing beds in some nursing home now if it wasn't for me? . . . . But what really bothers me is her ego! She thinks the world revolves around her! . . . Imagine! . . . I say again, Megyn, without me she'd be seen as the little, insignificant nothing that she is!"


Above CAPTION based on the following Huffington Post story:

August 20, 2014

The Original T*rd in the Punchbowl! . . . Please come CAPTION Rush Limbaugh!!!!

Rush (The opposite of much to be desired) Limbaugh is saying: "Listen, bozo, I'm very far from 'kidding!' Ferguson scandal is like the Benghazi scandal in so many ways it's heard to count, but just to name the major correspondences: 1.) they are both in congested urban areas where community activists and terrorists like to hang out (often, in fact, it's hard to tell them apart); 2.) the Obama Administration orchestrated them both, from initial provocation to continual incitement to 'America's heartfelt apology'. . . just wait; and 3.) they are both manifestly and intentionally, dastardly and most obviously . . . distractions from Obamacare! . . . It should be obvious to anyone who even cares to open his or her eyes occasionally. . . But that doesn't include you, bozo, does it?"


Above CAPTION based loosely on the following Media Matters story (actually on the photo alone):

August 20, 2014

Turn your manic all the way up! . . . Then please come CAPTION Karl Rove!!!!

Karl ("Mama used to say when I bent over in the buff she couldn't tell the difference. What do you think she meant by that?&quot Rove is saying: "Listen, it was all Obama's fault in the first place, praising these rap gangsters telling all everyone to 'act up' and be thugs. . . . . Then one 'acts up' and tries to beat down and possibly kill a policeman . . . and he gets shot in the process. . . Well, the place explodes as we all know! . . . Now, just when things were beginning to die down, Obama makes two speeches designed to enflame the rioters once again by talking about their side, and their problems, virtually ignoring the heroic efforts of the police . . . and to top it off he sends his brother Holder down just to make sure there's plenty of gas on hand to feed the flames. . . . And he thought he could put one over on me!!!"


Above CAPTION loosely based upon the following Media Matters story:

August 19, 2014

"What caliber is _your_ an*l plug?" . . . Please come CAPTION Fox's top cop, Mark Fuhrman!!!

Mark ("Logic is just a four-letter word&quot Fuhrman is saying: "Well, Megyn, it's entirely plausible that Michael Brown attacked the officer without provocation, just 'cause he was feeling rowdy or he didn't like something in the officer's tone of voice, . . . then it's certainly likely he would shoved the officer violently backward into the car's side and struggle for his pistol, . . . And, yes, it is even more thant highly plausible that while fleeing after he was unsuccessful, he would turn back after hearing the officer shooting at him so he can attack him once again, this time under fire. . . . Just what's so unlikely about that anyway?"


Following CAPTION based of the following Crooks & Liars story:


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Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 19,344

About skip fox

I am retired, now a professor emeritus at University of Louisiana at Lafayette, where I taught in the English department for 37 years. I've written 4 chapbooks and 5 full-sized books (all listed as poetry though many include other genres as well), including _Sheer Indefinite: Selected Poems, 1991-2012 (Univ. of New Orleans Press, 2012). I've also written a 500+ page bibliography of three contemporary poets: Robert Creeley, Ed Dorn, and Robert Duncan. I am writing now, both fiction and poetry, more now than ever. My first vote for President of the United States was for Dick Gregory in 1968 (Bowling Green, Ohio). Favorite quote: "It's easy to be an idealist if you don't have to mind the evidence, but no one said it was supposed to be easy" (Richard LaPauvre).

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